The Night Before Early Access

[SodRansom]

A member of my company, Ceresletos, wrote this poem in our company forums. We thought it was so good we encouraged him to post it in these forums, but his character level was too low. So I'm going to do it for him. Enjoy!

Twas the night before EA and all through the ranks
Not a gamer was stiring except to play pranks.
Our headsets all sat by our PC with care,
to not wake our spouses when the servers were there.

The gamers all nestled in gear in their beds
While visions of Tonberries haunted their heads
My wife with her earplugs and I in my mog cap
I just settled in for a short power nap

The Alarm by my bed arose such a clatter
I thought my poor wife would hit me with a platter
Away to my recliner I flew like a flash
Smacking my shin and creating a gash

The moon in Eorzea on the newly raised world
Gave off a shine of a freshly shined pearl
When what should to my wondering eyes should appear
But some short bald dude in subligar gear

With sword in my hand, so shiny an sharp
Slaying poor mobs in my room that’s real dark
More rapid than eagles the monsters they came
I whistled, and shouted and taunted their names!

You silly poor pixels I pondered with glee
Did you not know that who you were facing was me
I giggled away as I looted my fill
Then cursed this dead mob, WHAT only 5 gil?¿?

Walking away feeling quite great
When suddenly a message “You’ve discovered a FATE”
Steering my character towards the large crowd
The sounds of the battle ever getting quite loud

A couple of times my health started to wane
A kindly White Mage helped to ease my poor pains
Continuing to swing my sword left and right
The battle soon ended; no thanks to my might

Weary from battle I crawled to my bed
“The aches and the pains” I wished I was dead
I lay down my body broken and worn
For tomorrow I wake in this Realm Reborn