FFXIV Crashes before I can play after logging in to the patcher

[DoNu7]

Just like the title says. I've been trying to get this to work for almost a week now. I won't be able to post accurate PC specs because I'm at work but here's what I got so far. I have:

Error message: UE. It points to msvcrt.dll and lists detailed error information.

When: Every time I try to play. It will happen when I click "Play" on the patcher. I've even made it as far as the game launching but when I clicked Start once the game loaded it crashed again.

I've tried: To re-install (multiple times), replace the .dll listed, changing video settings. Changing the settings then running it in full screen actually got me to launch the game to the start screen then it crashed again.

My specs: Laptop
Windows 7 home premium (sucks) 64-bit
Dual core w/ hyperthreading
4 gigs of ram
700 gig HDD
~300 MB in the onboard video

That's all I have for now. Once I get home for lunch I'll update this post with more accurate information. Does anybody have any idea as to what to do? I'm at a total loss. What I'm doing today is installing XP Pro in a VM and see if that changes anything. After that I'll try installing on different machines and seeing what happens. Any help here is really appreciated, I'm really looking forward to playing this game..

PS: SE has even locked my account for whatever reason. Aparently trying to install and run the game is "suspicious activity".