Stop spectating, people. This is the truth and you are all wrong:

1. Bahamut is a magic toe imp who will tickle your feet while you sleep if you don't count your toes and tickle your nose every night.

2. Nael van Darnus didn't die. He went on holiday in Brazil.

3. Louisiox left only one thing behind after sacrificing himself: A pair of old socks and an IOU to a whorehouse in Thanalanadingdong.

4. Cid didn't grow a beard. A beard grew Cid.

5. Those shiny metal things the Circle of Knowing wear now? It's where they hold their drugs.

6. Gaius dies in the first five minutes.

7. Merlwyb was a man all along. So was Thancred - I know, it was hard to tell.

8. Xion appears in the game. And she's just as much of a mary sue than she was before. She falls in love with a vampire and gets killed by Voldemort.

9. Summoners summon summoners.

10. Scholars read books. Annnd that's it. You take a look, it's in a book, Reading Rainbow. I can go anywhere. Friends to know, ways to go, Reading Rainbow.

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You're welcome. Now stop speculating - the truth's right here.

Your bestest Friend with benefits,

Edge Faire