This doesn't really relate back to your point of the playerbase and how they should be grateful
From what I can see from your post, you hold a lot of value to gameplay. There's nothing wrong with that, we're all different. I know when I was younger I would have said the same thing.
I'm now at a stage where if aesthetics and gameplay are not balanced then I quickly lose interest in single player games (multiplayer games are different, I'm engaged through competition easily, this is why I'm not incredible bummed out by the hairstyle thing and why I allowed myself to rush my character to begin with).
The aesthetic's job is to immerse the player into the world. This is the reason why educational games normally fail to engage a player as they have terrible aesthetics. If we are not engaged with FFXIV then we will see it for all it really is; a bunch of menus and buttons. If we were to take away all the aesthetics from any game then it can easily be compared to navigating Microsoft Excel.
Gameplay is always composed of several smaller games such as in a shooter you have to pull your trigger when you get your crosshair over a target whilst also scavanging for pick-ups and managing the terrain. With aesthetics to glue all of this together, games are seen for what they really are; several unimportant goals a player must achieve to progress.
If you'd like to learn about how important aesthetics are to a person like me I'd take a look at this
link
And on a final note; you can take any concept and dumb it down so it sounds stupid, such as the Barbie dress-up game comment. How a person looks and dresses are important parts of the world. So important in fact that people make careers out of it.
I can easily say that all any MMO is about is running around and killing things.