Gm mod Joe: Uhoh, it’s Devil again! *finger hovers over delete post button!*
Okay! So. Late night, I had an opportunity to chat with one of my heated rivals, who strangely turned out to be a pretty cool person. In one of my previous posts, I listed 100% legal, rule abiding, non-TOS breaking pvp tactics to punish newcomers who didn’t take the time to learn the bare basics (usually identified in matches where everyone else is doing 900k, they don’t even break 100) This person disagreed, stating that pvp needs fresh blood to continue flourishing, and love and understanding should be shown to new people, upon which point our conversation ended. This. . .actually got me thinking on a lovably philosophical note, leading to an embarrassingly simple realization.
For the past few years, as Yoshi and his band of merry men and women have been yanking the threads of pvp, specifically CC every which way that tickles their fancies, MY stupid self…has been trying to play Optimus Prime. Bring on drg, while trying to simultaneously draw fire as a tank, playing healer. . .while being a poor man’s blackmage…all..to compensate for individuals who consistently prove inept at the most basic of functions. Can’t get on target. Can’t guard. Can’t dps.
A little less than a decade ago, NONE of this was a problem. Back then, we had solo kill power. Mnk, smn, mch, brd, drg all had bursts that could burn people in 1-2 seconds. Glorious! Those days are gone. . .so that now, in this current day, team play HAS to be enforced. And when I keep getting Jolly Joe (he’s a random guy I invented Mr. Mod) who doesn’t guard, doesn’t sprint, and does less dps than I could push bouncing my left buttcheek off the controller. . .I start to rage.
.
When you’ve played enough matches, when you are aware of how certain jobs function in dynamic (like pld, dnc, and rpr (P_P), when you see certain people pop up who play the same jobs, do the same dps. . .you. Start. To see. PATTERNS. So that every time I get Jolly Joe on my team. . .I instinctively know it’s 4 vs 5 right out the gate. First they’re gonna blow away Joe after a single zerg. Then they’re gonna roflstomp Carla Curesalot and Dancing Douglas. By that time Jolly Joe has respawned. . .to hump the floor literally less than 10 seconds later.
MY problem. . .was that I was trying to interfere with this very natural sequence. I was the proverbial dumb dumb. . .trying to shovel water out the sea to avert the oncoming tsunami and save the town. Marking. Callouts. Wiggling mah femroe cakes to lure and bait. . .all so Jolly Joe could just for ONE time get a clue and get on target. Do some goodness.
. . .and he doesn’t.
When I see certain people pop, I know, if left unchecked and unchallenged, those specific people will EAT my poor team mates one after the other. So I mark. So I do call outs. So I dance the funky chicken three mother-loving inches away from them.
. . .just to get Jolly Joe. . .who targets the pld who has both guard and Holy Ground up.
And I cry. Because my foot, like his, is shackled to the mast of our intrepidly sinking ship. . .and he. . .just refuses to paddle.
This. . .was the dilemma . . .up until last night I was facing. Until, laying on my bed. . .I was hit by a world tilting revelation that emphatically jostled the netherworld core of my fell soul. What was that divine revelation?
Let them all die.
Stop fighting it. Stop trying to desperately pull you poor souls back from that last and final valley where all roads inevitably lead. Stop trying to orchestrate that last good counterattack up No Man’s Hill. Let death swing his unbiased scythe as the old church bell chimes, bringing liberating equilibrium upon all in its benevolent path. No need to educate. No need to scold. No need for Yoshi to prod people even to learn the bare fundamentals. Again. . .
. . .just let them die.
Granted, this approach largely applies to casual mstches. Those of you damned to do ranked. . .do not have this luxury. YOU guys must dance Yoshi’s twisted dance, holding onto depleted positivity, transiently hollow hope that a hail marry will get pulled out of air by match end when Jolly Joe appears for your final rank match. On god I pity you guys. Myself, as a machinist? I’ll just step back. . .and watch the way of things.
Be well ^_^)/

Reply With Quote







