Sometimes its a good thing to have "toxicity" and other negative traits

[Daughterofdeath]

I don't know why you care. It's very easy to be toxic in FF14 as long as it's passive aggressive and you don't use a slur lol

This is pretty much the only game I know of where kicking for "difference in gameplay style" is not only not TOS-violating but actually explicitly encouraged by the GMs.

expect it kind of is, I legit have been reported in the past for refusing a white mage holy rez because it "hinder" the party and because when you feel everything strongly your easily pushed to far, and its about people ganging up on you more than it is about a set rule, which I've said in the past the gms are 2 dumb looks at the full picture and just look at the one individual that got pushed to far, I mean damn you even get in trouble for a party listing in pf to find or look for someone similar to do things in private just cuz they don't approve of it and no I'm not talking about "erp nonsense" never once have they been correct in situations I'm defensive, not aggressive

[PercibelTheren]

I have been nudging people towards the right direction when it comes to mechanics/doing their jobs for 3 years now. Interestingly, I have never been punished for it once. The key is telling them without being a massive jerk about it.

[Sekundessounet]

Y'all gotta remember that, at the end of the day, FFXIV is a videogame. I will not judge anyone for their investment in it as I've poured way too many hours into it myself, but it's first and foremost a platform where most players log on for less than an hour then log off.

No player here owes anything to another besides a basic level of respect and curtesy, like in real life. You're not required to be good at the game. The fact that players don't get the basics of their jobs at level 60+ is either because the game is still poor at teaching its mechanics to its players, and also because now job/story skips exist and you never know when you meet someone that used them.

On the flipside, yes, people are not required to indulge everything about you like they are NPCs. Hence why you shouldn't for example join clear parties when you've never laid a foot in the targeted fight. Also why you shouldn't release your frustrations on randos in DF too.

For accessibility, it goes beyond being able to push on the button. If you wanna focus on controller usage, remember that a sizeable chunk of the population has motricity issues like dyspraxia that can make even such a slow GCD hard to handle. It's a tentacular issue that goes way beyond any of us can really picture, hence why the basic rule I follow personnally is : I don't know who that person is and their background, therefore I won't assume anything. The only thing you should take account of is their behavior towards you or your group. The person might be poor at the game because of actual issues, or because they don't care, or because something is happening to them IRL at the moment. But it's not your job to find out what it is.

When it comes to helping people get better, here's two way to go about it that will not bring you any issues and will work most of the time :

1 - If you saw someone fucking up a mechanic, or doing so repeatedly, just write a message explaining the thing in chat and let the person deal with it. If they catch on, good, if they don't, that's on them, you did your part. Works especially well on things that the game doesn't teach well, or are from pop ups you can miss if you turn your head around at the wrong time (i.e. sprouts not knowing they can unlock a job at lvl 30).

2 - If you wanna be more social and careful, just literally ask them : "Do you want some pointers ?" ; "Can I share to you some tips on how to use [Job] / how to beat [boss] ?". You're conversation doesn't start with anything judgemental or stigmatizing. You can even precise that you just wanna be of help if you're afraid the message will not get across. That way they're the one engaging with you and openly consenting to being taught something, and if they don't, then you can just tune out no problem. Usually it's all well and good and you end up with a commendation at the end.

[Sekundessounet]

As for emotions being felt strongly for X or Y reason, I hear you. That is, in itself, an accessibility issue too, because you need to struggle maintaining a healthy emotional level while dealing with a ton of strangers, and it can get painful. And sadly, while I understand your frustrations about GMs, their job is not to look at the full picture on that level, because if they could they would either have to take anyone's word for it (which is not a good idea), or they would be able to invade someone's privacy outside of the game, which is worse. And sadly, is partly on people like us to find ways to not have the game eat up at our mental health and find avenues to cool off these emotions :/~

EDIT : also for gear/hairstyle requets, no game will listen to one person on what to add to the game. If you want specific types of stuff to be added, find people that are in the same boat and make your collective voice heard. That's how we got the unlocking of gendered gear for example.

EDIT2 : Also yes, being passive-agressive will probably work because you get plausible deniability on a written chat. But then it means you relish being an actuall awful human being dictated by its own insecurities, so frankly nobody has time for that.

[Daughterofdeath]

As for emotions being felt strongly for X or Y reason, I hear you. That is, in itself, an accessibility issue too, because you need to struggle maintaining a healthy emotional level while dealing with a ton of strangers, and it can get painful. And sadly, while I understand your frustrations about GMs, their job is not to look at the full picture on that level, because if they could they would either have to take anyone's word for it (which is not a good idea), or they would be able to invade someone's privacy outside of the game, which is worse. And sadly, is partly on people like us to find ways to not have the game eat up at our mental health and find avenues to cool off these emotions :/~

EDIT : also for gear/hairstyle requets, no game will listen to one person on what to add to the game. If you want specific types of stuff to be added, find people that are in the same boat and make your collective voice heard. That's how we got the unlocking of gendered gear for example.

EDIT2 : Also yes, being passive-agressive will probably work because you get plausible deniability on a written chat. But then it means you relish being an actuall awful human being dictated by its own insecurities, so frankly nobody has time for that.

or they can look at the entire context of that one area, and everything said in the log at that time which doesn't invade privacy or taken someone's word for it, there are many cases where people legit just push and push someone into saying or doing something so they can weaponize it, time stamps and other things exist they can go through everything in that area at the time.

do i regret some of the things ive said in the past yes however was it wrong no it wasn't it was pushed to far and forced to act/say things to a point i had no controll myself things happan to quick and ya when that happans things are said that im not even fully aware im saying. But I wont be a doormat ever again I will defend myself if i must

[Merrigan]

Again and again: it's not about being nice, it's about being polite. Take the case of the tank that has bad equipment and plays very badly:

‘Hey Tank, a word of advice: your equipment isn't suitable, you need to [explain the system]. Furthermore, FFXIV is a proactive game where the use of mitigations is not optional.

If the person doesn't respond or doesn't take the advice, you can kick them or leave and apologise to the others => No problem. Nobody's going to call you toxic for that. I'm taking the liberty of pointing out this fairly basic fact, because in this type of post it always seems like there are only two options: scream at the person and call them names, OR ignore the problem and smile stupidly from behind your screen.

To go back to your example of the person standing in the middle of the pavement, let's say to look at their phone: if your first instinct is to yell at them outright, then yes, you're part of the problem because you fall into the category of people who have no control. You're invited to challenge him and politely ask him to move over before raising your voice. IG, it's the same thing. So no, toxicity is absolutely not useful, it's just a demonstration of a lack of control and overall patience.

On the other hand, being a pedagogue and knowing how to be firm about the prerequisites within a group are two necessary traits - but they're not the same thing.

[Sekundessounet]

or they can look at the entire context of that one area, and everything said in the log at that time which doesn't invade privacy or taken someone's word for it, there are many cases where people legit just push and push someone into saying or doing something so they can weaponize it, time stamps and other things exist they can go through everything in that area at the time.

do i regret some of the things ive said in the past yes however was it wrong no it wasn't it was pushed to far and forced to act/say things to a point i had no controll myself things happan to quick and ya when that happans things are said that im not even fully aware im saying. But I wont be a doormat ever again I will defend myself if i must

I agree, I'm specifically talking about the part where you lose control. The reasons behind that are not something they should be able to investigate.

On the broader context, I agree too, the issue at play here is that, frankly, in every game GMs are severely understaffed making them have to treat these situations hastily because hundreds of them are usually pending after yours :/

EDIT : The second edit wasn't directed at you BTW, just in case