(emphasis mine)
On the one hand, I think there's a plenty of blame to place at the feet of encounter design and content design. For example, if the chaotic raid truly has something approximating a 24-person body check, that is absurd.
On the other hand, I think there's also blame to place at the feet of the players themselves for defaulting to "can't talk, gotta get done fast". When someone looks at everything and everyone as a potential burden, when the only thing that matters is the destination, it is no surprise that there is no fun to be had.
This is an MMO. Part of the fun is, or ought to be, just seeing who you end up playing with today. There are some lumps of coal out there. There are some shiny gems out there. The vast middle is what you choose to make of it.