How not to be a mentor

[Ath192]

This entire thread highlights an unsolvable problem.

Let's sum up the events:
OP claims they were harassed by a mentor, with the intent to portray the mentor, even if not named, in a negative light.
Instance: Lvl 100 repeated casual content
Claim: "They were DPSing when they felt it was safe to do so, Mentor gave me a horrible experience by suggesting I wasn't"

Later on in thread:
Several players find evidence through illegal means that shouldn't be discussed or brought up publicly that the OP was lying, and has proof that they do in fact, do not press any DPS buttons whatsoever in lvl 100 content.
However this evidence despite being factual, should not be public knowledge

We are stuck with a dilemma here that consistently plagues the community:
Player comes on to forums to claim of a toxic experience that is a wild stretch of the truth and paints the community in a negative light, and lies about their account of what happened. In fact the OP has tagged this thread "mentor abuse".
We shouldn't have evidence that they lied, and the very fact that the evidence was brought up is toxic in itself, but it's there and it exists, and the fact that evidence exists exonerates the anonymous mentor and damns the OP, but the fact the evidence exists and we're checking it because some of us are so used to stories like these being a fabrication of the truth is damning in itself.

Illegal doesn't mean evil. You cannot legalize morality. OP is in the wrong, the people who used illegal tools to find the truth is not damning or bad. Truth isn't bad. The moment people start believing this because it's illegal or whatever we are doomed as a society. It may be illegal, but morality wise the OP failed.

They made a false accusation towards a Mentor who by all visible evidence exposed here was correct to offer advice and help. Until evidence the mentor phrased this in an insulting or rude manner the truth we at least have, and know, was that he was genuinely trying to help.

[AllenThyl]

This entire thread highlights an unsolvable problem.

Let's sum up the events:
OP claims they were harassed by a mentor, with the intent to portray the mentor, even if not named, in a negative light.
Instance: Lvl 100 repeated casual content
Claim: "They were DPSing when they felt it was safe to do so, Mentor gave me a horrible experience by suggesting I wasn't"

Later on in thread:
Several players find evidence through illegal means that shouldn't be discussed or brought up publicly that the OP was lying, and has proof that they do in fact, do not press any DPS buttons whatsoever in lvl 100 content.
However this evidence despite being factual, should not be public knowledge

We are stuck with a dilemma here that consistently plagues the community:
Player comes on to forums to claim of a toxic experience that is a wild stretch of the truth and paints the community in a negative light, and lies about their account of what happened. In fact the OP has tagged this thread "mentor abuse".
We shouldn't have evidence that they lied, and the very fact that the evidence was brought up is toxic in itself, but it's there and it exists, and the fact that evidence exists exonerates the anonymous mentor and damns the OP, but the fact the evidence exists and we're checking it because some of us are so used to stories like these being a fabrication of the truth is damning in itself.

No, there is no unsolvable problem. What happened was that the OP was fundamentally dishonest. Even without the impressive (in the most negative sense imaginable) logs, the initial post and the follow up were all obviously dishonest to fit the OP's narrative. Notice how there are essentially no specifics actually describing what happened, only the already filtered evaluation of the mentor's behavior. When dealing with narcissists, this whole behavior is known as "the missing missing reasons". This whole "benefit of the doubt" was completely misplaced, because if the mentor in question had actually been rude, you can be sure that the OP would have listed the mentor's expression word for word. Probably even a screenshot of the conversation itself. But I suspect that the word "please" came up a bit more often than the OP would have liked, so here we are.

[Archeron]

Honestly the people who complain about Mentors, or complain in general about other people in Novice Network need to learn a little self reflection, because nine times out of ten, they're the problem, not everyone else. 99% of my duties go off without anyone saying a word beyond "Hello" and "Thanks for the party". When someone does rarely speak up, I don't take their criticism as an insult, or a personal attack. If they genuinely are being offensive about it, sometimes saying nothing or just outright vote dismissing them would solve a hell of a lot of problems, without stirring up drama. But apparently this community can't act maturely even if everyones lives depended on it, and we need to seek the validation of other people to feel better about our petty drama incident(s), or to feel better because we're insecure about our performance in a random casual roulette duty.

[Rein_eon_Osborne]

On one hand, I’d agree to not pester strangers with unsolicited advices, if it happened at all. On the other hand, playing the victim by creating a false narrative?

Yikes. Please do better.

[Saraide]

You could smell the truth from a mile away here but dear lord, it's even worse than that. OP is a mentor btw. We really do need clearing of a current EX trial as mentor requirement atleast at this point.

[Kohashi]

You could smell the truth from a mile away here but dear lord, it's even worse than that. OP is a mentor btw. We really do need clearing of a current EX trial as mentor requirement atleast at this point.

looking at her account it's highly unlikely she is a battle mentor. Perhaps a crafting one, but then again, what do I know?

[VeyaAkemi]

I will also say that I know from experience people in this game are notoriously averse to advice and feedback, here's a situation that happened not too long ago:

I was leveling GNB, and got Akadaemia Anyder on roulette, party was me, an AST, and two DNC, halfway into the last pull, the Healer DCs, and we wait a bit for them, the entire time, the DNC had Dance Partnered each other, and since I main DNC and know the ins and outs of the job pretty well, I bring it up, I forget the exact words but I remember the tone, so paraphrased "By the way, you shouldn't Dance Partner another DNC, the buff doesn't stack with itself even from different sources, so if there are two DNC in a dungeon, it's best to Partner the Tank and Healer so the buff at least is going somewhere.".

I get complete radio silence from that, even though I felt I was pretty passive in how I phrased it, and decide to not push the issue, Healer comes back, and we start the fight, about 40%, everyone but me dies, so I go in chat "Should I wipe?", and immediately they respond "Nah, just clear if you can", and well, I have a stockpile of Hyper-Potions specifically for such situations, and I am able to clear the boss without trouble thanks to a couple potions even if it took a bit, but it stuck to me how they deliberately ignored the previous advice since they were obviously reading chat, it wasn't a situation where it was worth getting upset or even annoyed over, just notable enough to commit to memory.

This is why I raise an eyebrow when someone starts complaining about advice, my situation was one where they didn't respond at all, but I have seen so many over the years where people will snap back to the gentlest advice, it especially bugs me because I have benefited from such unsolicited advice before, when I started playing I was an absolute Curebot WHM, spamming Cure 2 and keeping full Regen/Medica II uptime, it wasn't until a run of Castrum Merid where the Tank went "By the way you don't need to heal me so much, I can stay alive, just use Holy when you can", and I was able to immediately internalize the advice and improve, so I tend to find it disheartening when someone is so quick to shoot down advice given by others, even if completely unsolicited, and much as OP claims have been doing otherwise, we do have solid evidence of how they play the game in content that is completely casual, so it doesn't come off as if the advice was truly needless.

[Kohashi]

I will also say that I know from experience people in this game are notoriously averse to advice and feedback, here's a situation that happened not too long ago:

I was leveling GNB, and got Akadaemia Anyder on roulette, party was me, an AST, and two DNC, halfway into the last pull, the Healer DCs, and we wait a bit for them, the entire time, the DNC had Dance Partnered each other, and since I main DNC and know the ins and outs of the job pretty well, I bring it up, I forget the exact words but I remember the tone, so paraphrased "By the way, you shouldn't Dance Partner another DNC, the buff doesn't stack with itself even from different sources, so if there are two DNC in a dungeon, it's best to Partner the Tank and Healer so the buff at least is going somewhere.".

The perfect example of a terrible advice. Since I have also main-ed DNC for a while now, allow me to teach you further.

The quote is directly taken from the balance discord since it discusses in depth each point.

Do dancer buffs stack? Should I partner another dancer? Do buffs apply to pets?
Standard Finish:
The standard finish buffs will stack if the partner icons appear different. This means that if two dancers partner each other, their buffs will stack.
The standard finish buffs will not stack if the partner icons are the same. This means that a player who has been partnered by multiple dancers will only receive one buff.

Technical Finish:
The damage buff will not stack, and subsequent techs will simply refresh the buff.
The esprit buff will stack, meaning that a dancer who has their technical step overwritten by another dancer will still receive increased esprit for the full duration.

Devilment:
The buff will not stack, and subsequent devilments will simply refresh the buff.

Pets:
All dancer buffs apply to pets/summons.

In conclusion:
For 4 man dungeons with two dancers, unless the other dancer is severely underperforming, you should partner the other dancer.
In content with multiple dancers, you should ideally try to stagger technical window timings so that you do not overwrite each others buffs.

[VeyaAkemi]

The perfect example of a terrible advice.

If that's the case, I have been misinformed by multiple people for years, and I apologize for perpetuating the bad game of telephone, but I was more focused on the lack of response, if they had responded "No really, check this <guide source>", I would've then and have stood corrected, but that didn't happen, there was no communication whatsoever.