i agree with you. it's gotten substantially worse in the time that i've been playing, to the point where i've been kicked from dungeons for asking people to do the very bare minimum like using their aoe skills on multiple targets. just recently i had a 30 minute run of the 97 dungeon because neither of the dps used their aoe skills at any point.
the issue seems to be that there's a disparity in what people consider the 'bare minimum' in this game. to me, that's actively doing your best. you don't have to play like the top 5% or anything, but i mean like using aoes on multiple enemies, doing damage when there's no healing needed, using your mitigation, wall to wall, using your dots and buffs, etc. but to someone else, that sounds like i'm asking a lot, and maybe their only requirement is that you're pressing literally any button. and before anyone wants to cry elitism, this is not an elitism problem. there are plenty of casual players who do all the things i've listed. like it was mentioned above, it's a fundamental difference in the way people view other peoples' time. and unfortunately that's not really a problem ffxiv can fix.