Party finder attitude. At least try to stay positive?

[AddictedToWitches]

And ... for good reason?

- I remember joining a week 1 M2S clear party and saw a dude in (700) tome gears with zero meld. And the reason why I checked because another person asked why they didn't pop food. I left before the first pull. Yes, you can say someone was being toxic, but I don't think that someone is me.

- You have no idea how soul crushing it is to wipe to +- 1% enrage than see half of the party say "oh guess I can start potting now". Of course, 10/10 times that party will never get there again. And for all I know it'll be probably another 5-10h before I can get an actually clear, while I could have get that clear right there and then.

Starting this tier I have seen some enrage group starting checking progress and replace even before zoning in? I haven't gone that far yet because I rarely if ever make my own PF, and you may call it Toxic but I say good for them. After all I'm tired of Johny Bee Bee joining enrage party and obviously cluessless about half of the mechanic.

You're trying to frame the "reaction" to an issue as problematic, instead of asking why the reaction came to be. Why are you asking for respect and courtesy toward people who obviously possess none of those toward others? Even if someone check your gears, surely it would have caused zero issue if you had done what "courteously" expected of you?

You see I 100% understand why people wait to start using pots or even food because if you don't have crafters leveled or you're not a market shark, those can be very expensive and not everyone feels like "wasting" gil when you're still learning the fight
(Though I blame crafters putting that shit up for stupid high prices despite most of these people who do so probably being gil capped anyway)

[Raven2014]

What it's always been like for years in my experience is the party lead kicking people for "being bad" but not telling them beforehand and then talking shit about them after kicking them.

As I mentioned, this is mostly due to to the strict policy the game has in place. It's just much safer to kick/leave/disband than risking an argument broken out and get reported.

If you're not in the right mindset, if you're frustrated, just take a break. The fight will always be there, you don't NEED a week 1 clear because you are most definitely NOT a world first racer or anything if you're PFing fights and don't have a static.

This is why I feel the OP is confusing between toxicity and compatibility.

If you join a blind party and start spewing strat, you'll get kicked.

If you join a "please watched a vid and preprare" but appear clueless, you'll get kicked.

If you join a "clear" party when actually only know half the fight, you'll get kicked.

if you join a week1 clear party and don't have food/pot/meld, you'll get kicked.


The person who got kicked probably gonna go to the forum and claim "wow toxic!" but I maintain that they're the toxic one. Because when people are able to meet their matches, it would have resulted in a positive experience.

- I had joint bling prog groups before, and they're often fun, people stick around for 1+h, enjoy learning the fight.

- I had joint enrage party that managed to stick together for 2-3 hours, sometime even agree on taking a break, resupply and go for a 2nd lock out (and yes I'm talking aout PF, not static). Happen more than you think when you try to clear the last floor on week1/2.

- Enrage parties don't often disband for not clearing after reaching enrage. Enrages parties often disband after 3 pulls and still early wipe to basic mech.


So when the same group of people can experience "toxicity" or "oozing with positivity", than I don't think it's a matter of personality. Doesn't matter where the bar is set (high or low), as long as the party all meet that bar than often no toxicity will come out. In my experience, most of the time toxicity happens when someone think they're entitled to other time and effort without putting in an equal share. There is a reason why the community coin the term "trap party". Nobody like getting trapped, and when people are exposed to things they don't like, they ... may get toxic. But can you really blame them?

You see I 100% understand why people wait to start using pots or even food because if you don't have crafters leveled or you're not a market shark, those can be very expensive and not everyone feels like "wasting" gil when you're still learning the fight

That's why I don't pot in "learning" parties. But when I join an enrage/clear, I treat every pull as a clear pull. Yes, there is a risk it's a trap party, but my mentality is better risk losing a bunch of gils than losing hours of my life.

For example, on Wednesday morning of week 1, the first PF I joint for M2S clear wiped at 1% enrage. Half the party claim they would now start potting, of course we never get a better pull. And it took me 2 more days and 50 pull later to actually get the actual clear.

And as someone who have been playing for 10 years, I wish I could say that's not an common occurrence, because it is.

I'll be blunt, people who join clear/enrage party and try to skimp on food/pots, either they don't value their time (and other people time), or they just simply have a very crappy disposition on values.

[Mika_Zahard]

I'll be blunt, people who join clear/enrage party and try to skimp on food/pots, either they don't value their time (and other people time), or they just simply have a very crappy disposition on values.

Im pretty sure if people simply used their tomes for mats, crafters would get them the pots for really really cheap unless they supply everything else, then i'd just make em for free, since i already get spiritbond as reward.

[CamuiKushi]

That's why I don't pot in "learning" parties. But when I join an enrage/clear, I treat every pull as a clear pull. Yes, there is a risk it's a trap party, but my mentality is better risk losing a bunch of gils than losing hours of my life.

I'll be blunt, people who join clear/enrage party and try to skimp on food/pots, either they don't value their time (and other people time), or they just simply have a very crappy disposition on values.

I think you have a very reasonable stance.

[Ozmandis]

Personnaly, I avoid to be "toxic" but it's extremely hard when you have litteral dead weights in your party. Not too long ago, I got 2 ranged that didn't come close enough to take heals and were dying of damages and we (the healers) got the blame for it. The BLM was litterally puting leylines in the opposite corner of the map and expected us to run a marathon just to heal their ass. We kindly leaved the party and blacklisted every person that opened their mouth because that's simply ridiculous.

[Router]

You see I 100% understand why people wait to start using pots or even food because if you don't have crafters leveled or you're not a market shark, those can be very expensive and not everyone feels like "wasting" gil when you're still learning the fight
(Though I blame crafters putting that shit up for stupid high prices despite most of these people who do so probably being gil capped anyway)

You should always be using food in prog since it gives you extra HP to survive mechanics. You are griefing your party by not using food. It lasts for 30+ minutes per use, so there's no excuse.

[CuteBucket]

I can understand not using pots until you've seen most of the fight. My static doesn't bother potting until we have a pull where we got the boss down to under 20% and are feeling confident enough on mechanics to clear soon because those things are expensive. But EVERYONE needs to be using food, no matter what. Don't show up to savage raids without your gear melded and without enough food to last the lockout. That's just basic raiding protocol, and you're hindering yourself and your party to not do it.

Sometimes our static is down a person or two due to life stuff happening we need fills from PF. Some of those fills have been so nice and so much fun to raid with we sent them friend requests and they later joined our static when other members retired and now we hang out every week. Some of those fills were absolute boat anchors who didn't know the fight and wouldn't listen when we tried to help explain things or were rude to someone making a single mistake while causing wipes themselves, so we kicked and blacklisted them. It's a real box of chocolates out there. Just being a kind and patient person goes a long way, but that doesn't mean you have to tolerate people being rude and wasting everyone's time either.