Party finder attitude. At least try to stay positive?

[ShivahnuAhnJura]

Not sure if there's a specific place to post this but I just wanted to ask about the state of raiding savage in party finder and if anyone has had any similar experiences.

I think we've all had our ups and downs dealing with strangers but it's gotten to the point in which we are self-sabotaging decent parties with our own toxicity. Innocent questions get twisted into insults. People spy on others' damage/gear/food/pot usage. I've had people get so angry after one pull and they bring up their life story about how nobody in party finder can clear and we all suck, bringing a negative attitude to a party that was perfectly alright. (This is mostly M2 Savage from my experience)

I don't think these people realise they do this, so I hope that whoever reads this might consider their own behaviour in the future. Things don't come across too well in text, and especially in EU servers where not everyone can speak English perfectly. Give people a chance because in all likelihood if you bring anger and complain about all your previous parties being bad, you're likely going to make this party anxious and fall apart when they otherwise might not have.

If you go in to party finder expecting the worst out of people and respond in kind, you probably won't get the best out of them. I mean think about it, you might point out someone else's mistake and assume they can't play their job or they don't know the fight, but nobody's perfect. I guarantee you one day you WILL be that person who makes a mistake and looks foolish. Would you rather be bombarded with toxicity over something minor in a video game, or would you rather people be patient with you so nobody ends up in a bad mood and wastes their time?

I haven't seen this level of unwarranted rage and impatience since the WoW exodus back in Shadowbringers. Different mentality I guess. I know the FFXIV player base isn't full of angels either but can we at least try to contribute something positive to the game's community? We're all so used to being protected behind our screens that we think we can talk to people like they're dirt on the ground and we'll never see them again.

Maybe we won't see them again, but we're definitely going to remember how that toxic person made us feel. Don't be that person.

[ShivahnuAhnJura]

If you've had any wild experiences in party finder recently where people get unreasonably mad over nothing, write it in the comments. I'm curious if things have changed recently.

Some examples:
- Someone asks a question about waymarks or positions and then people start swearing and cussing and leave the group.
- Someone micromanages everyone's food and pots, complains about DPS and will run into the wall for just about any reason.
- Someone points out and accuses others of making mistakes, but is suspiciously silent when they do the same.
- Someone worships the guide they watched and will blame others for not adjusting to their inflexibility on mechanics with randomness or visual cues.
- Overly defeatist attitude and bringing the 'we won't clear vibes' to the group prematurely.
-Giving nobody time to type in chat, doing short countdowns without ready checks or just railroading the party in general.

And finally, if someone is asking a question, don't just ignore them. Some people aren't native English speakers. Some people (shockingly!) play on console and can't type 10 words a second. Most people don't share your braincells so they can't immediately understand what you're saying if it's not clear in the text chat.

The amount of times people don't bother communicating and then get upset when there's a miscommunication is too much for a game that relies on social interactions to clear content like savage. If you want to play the game on ignorance mode, don't expect people to be nice. If you put in patience and understanding, maybe you'll get some back.

[Rueby]

Report them. The ToS is vague enough for it to be justifiable.
Obstruction of Gameplay
Toxicity

If someone's being really toxic, kick them and find someone else, though it falls onto the one who made the PF and usually people are more likely to disband (sadly) than actually be confrontational. All in all, toxicity breeds toxicity, perhaps that behavior can be called out rather than being silent about it.

[Jeeqbit]

it's gotten to the point in which we are self-sabotaging decent parties with our own toxicity. Innocent questions get twisted into insults

No, I have not experienced this much. If this is what you are experiencing, then I mean no offense, but it sounds like you are doing something that frequently triggers people and it may be worth trying to do it differently.

People spy on others' damage/gear/food/pot usage.

No, I have never experienced this in PF at all. People spy food usage and that's really it. I never see people notice others' gear usually (unless their HP is noticeably low like a Hades Ex party I was in where they didn't even have free artifact gear from The Tempest) and I never see anyone discuss pot usage. In fact, most people in PF don't seem to know what pots are lol! Somehow, many of them get clears despite that.

They know that they can't discuss their damage without getting into trouble, but they do make vague references to it sometimes or just silently abandon the party.

I've had people get so angry after one pull and they bring up their life story about how nobody in party finder can clear and we all suck, bringing a negative attitude to a party that was perfectly alright. (This is mostly M2 Savage from my experience)

I'm trying to think why this would happen in PF so I checked your server. You're playing in the EU. I think that's why. EU is like this, NA is not.

EU players are on average more passionate, more savvy, more sweaty, more blunt and if they have a rude comment to make, they won't hold back despite the rules.

NA players tend to be extremely casual in my experience so they don't notice a lot of this stuff and if they have something rude to say, they often avoid it due to the rules and silently leave the party.

As the other reply said, you can report rude behaviour. EU players often break the rudeness rule because they can't hold back. I hardly play there, but just doing a rare expert roulette, normal raids roulette, trial roulette, leveling roulette, I run into some extremely toxic and awful behaviour in EU that I guarantee I never see in NA ever.

[HighlanderClone]

This is why I avoid PF like the plague. Not because PF players are bad, but because one little mistake and everyone explodes and you spend another hour waiting for the next PF to fill.

[FlowerMilk]

Listen, I know it gets used as an excuse way too often, but this genuinely sounds like 100% what I used to deal with in WoW PUG raids. And you did say this was your experience recently. Has party finder always been like this? From the little bit I've heard from people who have used it, it was mostly positive.

But one person watching what everyone else is doing like a hawk and constantly complaining about it in chat sounds like word for word exactly my experience in WoW lol. I guess we'll see if things improve when the new WoW expansion comes out or maybe, sadly, the FFXIV might just be like this now, I hope not.

[Andevom]

Can't say I've noticed this lately. I've been in many groups where people ask a bunch of questions after a wipe and someone answers without issue.

Been in plenty of groups where one or more players repeatedly failed, or in ones where I stunk up the joint, and no one lost their minds in anger. 99% of the time there's either silence or a generic, non-targeted explanation of a mechanic. Also more common is someone outing themselves as having messed up, rather than someone calling them out for it.

I'm sorry your groups have been that negative, but in my experience, instances of this kind of behavior have become much fewer as the years have gone on.

[TaleraRistain]

Don't really see that on Aether. You might see someone silently dip out if the PF isn't going well. Most you'll see someone say about food is just "food check" to remind everyone to check that they have it up and it's going to last through the fight. Most parties are happy to clarify mechanics on anything not mentioned in the PF so everyone is on the same page and wipes can be avoided.

[Volgia]

You will find this attitude on people who are in clear parties, but I often check the vibe before getting my expectations, if there are people complaining they've been in the PF all day and haven't cleared it's mostly going to be a sour experience, with lots of blaming, and lots of angry mistakes.

[GrizzlyTank]

My only rule for pugs and whatnot is talk when spoken too.

A simple response can be enough info to know that you can learn.