Time to hang it up?

[NoOneofConsequence]

I think about it some days. The game has gotten so passive-aggressively toxic. I can't even have normal conversations with people without them turning it around on me for no reason. I was having trouble doing something and I was trying to figure it out, but instead of being helpful or constructive I was being treated like I needed to quit the game and let someone else do what I was doing. It's frustrating, to say the least. I'm keeping it vague for obvious reasons. But it's bad. Everyone is like that. I'm not openly criticizing anything. I'm just trying to be friendly and helpful, and I feel like nobody wants me around. Some days I can't stand it. I hate how anti-social everyone is now. And I know a lot of it is returning people who are gonna leave and have no steak in anything, but it just sucks. It sucks feeling like a group of strangers have nothing but contept for you. It sucks feeling like you're wasting everyone else's time just being you. And it sucks that I have to feel this way. A game that brought me so much joy is legitimately making me depressed.

Anyway, I'm not gonna keep going. It's getting too sad.

I moved over to Mateus to play with my best friend, but I think he ditched me. And everyone here is worse than what I have been dealing with.

I can't relate personally in some of those issues. But I do know that misery loves company. And the overall atmosphere in EW started to change due to design decisions. Additionally, some players are not great with setting their expectations of others. Even I can be guilty of that sometimes. But, you only know them through your interaction in game. You are only seeing one facet of them. It is possible they are just a dick, or they could have reasons for it, etc etc. Its not a one size fits all scenario.

If you are having that negative a reaction though, seriously though, step away for a bit. <3
How the game affects you will not impact any other person, focus on yourself. Don't hang around and beat that joy with a stick until its dead :-(.

[Ardeth]

I can't relate personally in some of those issues. But I do know that misery loves company. And the overall atmosphere in EW started to change, and DT it seems has spiralled it further a bit, and it'll draw some of that out.

If you are having a negative reaction though, seriously though, step away for a bit. <3
How the game affects you will not impact any other person, focus on yourself. Don't hang around and beat that joy with a stick until its dead :-(.

It stinks because I want to play the game. I want to do stuff. I just feel like nobody else does. Or wants to with me. No matter how hard I try to fit in so to speak I am treated like crap. Not bad enough to report the people, but bad enough to know the intent of it.

I appreciate the kind words though. I just don't get it sometimes. It just feels personal and I know it's not. These people clearly don't care. They eat you alive any chance they get, but it just stinks ya know?

Anyway I'm gonna try not to think about it.

Thanks for the kind words again.

[PrincessLily]

@ Peter Redhill

HI, sorry hear about your run in with ppl, you ever need help let me know I’m on your sever.

[Ardeth]

@ Peter Redhill

HI, sorry hear about your run in with ppl, you ever need help let me know I’m on your sever.

I appreciate the offer, but at this point, I'm going back to my old server. The day I spent here has made me almost quit the game.

[lolnotacat]

I appreciate the offer, but at this point, I'm going back to my old server. The day I spent here has made me almost quit the game.

I used to be on Mateus. It was the best and worst server to be on. I found lots of great people who were fun to play with, but it was also filled with a lot of positive toxicity and social drama. People would start cancellation campaigns (mass reporting people) over the smallest slights if they were disliked by the wrong person. FCs would detonate over innocuous jokes, etc... I know that's an issue everywhere, but IDK why, Mateus took it to another level.

[koko-on-da-forumz]

it was also filled with a lot of positive toxicity and social drama. People would start cancellation campaigns (mass reporting people) over the smallest slights if they were disliked by the wrong person. FCs would detonate over innocuous jokes, etc...

For the record, this is just an FFXIV thing. It's like we took all of the the most immature, fragile-ego, middle school mean girls and threw them in a containment zone.

I think it's because the anime art style is the only aesthetic these people can enjoy.

[Ardeth]

I used to be on Mateus. It was the best and worst server to be on. I found lots of great people who were fun to play with, but it was also filled with a lot of positive toxicity and social drama. People would start cancellation campaigns (mass reporting people) over the smallest slights if they were disliked by the wrong person. FCs would detonate over innocuous jokes, etc... I know that's an issue everywhere, but IDK why, Mateus took it to another level.

It's just frustrating when you're actively trying to be positive. I just want to play the game. I don't want to deal with other people's dirty laundry. And what makes it worse is nobody is willing to give you the slightest courtesy otherwise. Like even saying, "Hello." At the start of a dungeon is rare anymore. Even staying long enough to get commendations out is rare. I've been playing since 2013, and it was really bad back then as well. I just expected after all this time and the multitude of communication apps that we as a playerbase would be more social and less selfish, but here we are. I'm in a group of people who care more about the reward than the gameplay. More about the wasted time than the comradery of it all.

It stinks. If I wanted to play with children like this, I'd go play Wow. At least in Wow, the aggression is more out in the open where I can deal with it easier.

I'm just tired of it all. I am actively starting to hate a game with a narrative of positivity because of all the negativity. And all I want to do is log on to play shoot the shit be friendly. I hate this.

And I know nice blog is coming, but it I spilt my heart on the table here.

[LianaThorne]

It's just frustrating when you're actively trying to be positive. I just want to play the game. I don't want to deal with other people's dirty laundry. And what makes it worse is nobody is willing to give you the slightest courtesy otherwise. Like even saying, "Hello." At the start of a dungeon is rare anymore. Even staying long enough to get commendations out is rare. I've been playing since 2013, and it was really bad back then as well. I just expected after all this time and the multitude of communication apps that we as a playerbase would be more social and less selfish, but here we are. I'm in a group of people who care more about the reward than the gameplay. More about the wasted time than the comradery of it all.

It stinks. If I wanted to play with children like this, I'd go play Wow. At least in Wow, the aggression is more out in the open where I can deal with it easier.

I'm just tired of it all. I am actively starting to hate a game with a narrative of positivity because of all the negativity. And all I want to do is log on to play shoot the shit be friendly. I hate this.

And I know nice blog is coming, but it I spilt my heart on the table here.

You're on a massive RP server tbh. Mateus is basically a miniature Balmung, so that's probably why you're encountering a lot of toxicity compared to other places. The venue RP crowd are personally one of the worst groups that exists in this game, it genuinely feels like dealing with teenage girls who get rabid for drama. They also like to use "it's just RP" when doing genuinely abusive things to other people, like flirting with other people in front of their spouses when they know it upsets them or being flat out racist/xenophobic. I recently encountered an RPer on Balmung that only played 14 to find women to cheat on his wife with while shes pregnant. It's not a crowd worth being in.

Not all Crystal is like that though, Diabolos for example (where I am) people will chat leisurely in NN and only really get butthurt if someone drops DT spoilers in there. There's also a lack of RP there so we don't have the weirdos drip over in the way they do Balmung/Mateus. If you feel up to it you're welcome to hang out in my FC till you find somewhere else to go with a larger social setting.

For the rest of your post though, this is unfortunately a product of years of people being screamed at by randoms in dungeons. People are genuinely afraid to speak now due to Square sometimes banning people for giving that advice if the person loses it and reports them (basically for obstructing someone else's gameplay or some excuse like that). Things are more social in extremes+ since you're kind of forced to talk to each other to understand mechanics and get a plan going, but dungeon content is definitely going to be quiet. Just how the game is now unfortunately.

[lolnotacat]

And what makes it worse is nobody is willing to give you the slightest courtesy otherwise. Like even saying, "Hello." At the start of a dungeon is rare anymore. Even staying long enough to get commendations out is rare. I've been playing since 2013, and it was really bad back then as well. I just expected after all this time and the multitude of communication apps that we as a playerbase would be more social and less selfish, but here we are. I'm in a group of people who care more about the reward than the gameplay. More about the wasted time than the comradery of it all.

This is caused by a few things. Liana touched on one of them. What you can technically get gaol'd for in this game is so ridiculous that it's gotten to the point a lot of people don't wanna talk. And because of their customer service policies, they won't even tell you what you did that got you in trouble. They'll just give you some sanctimonious boiler plate that's the customer service version of "do better". I've had friends get in trouble for telling white mages in level 80 content that spamming cure 1 makes their job harder or that tanks shouldn't be treating provoke as part of their rotation in alliance raids.

Combined with data center travel and cross server roulettes, you get players who don't really care about the community. "Why talk to someone if I'm never gonna see them again?" (same problem WoW has) or "I got my comms and there's nothing I need from this raid/dungeon/trial, I don't need to stick around to hand out any comms. These other players are like NPCs and don't talk anyways."

As much as I like PF for convenience sake, it's nearly killed the prospect of making new friends in content. Just trying to get a conversation going in even the most boring content (looking at you Crystal Tower) is almost impossible as people just wanna get in and out.