OP getting a like from me and i wish them good luck and to keep going! I know how it can be with being hard on oneself... i have dealt with that entire life due to a mental illness that is close to social anxiety, so much overthinking and worries of how others perceived me. It didn't help i came from world of warcraft where people got super toxic over dps and other things that had me avoid multiplayer for years, in FFxiv i played a rather poor healer that half the time just winged it when i had a partner that played tank. But moment she weren't around the anxiety of queue up got worse and worse that i dropped the game around start of endwalker, it were a mix of being alone, fearing randoms and reading guides telling me how i played was wrong..

But returned to the game around a month ago with the goal of learning tank and challenging the anxiety and nervousness i get, so reading the posts here is like super motivational and can say finding a good group to talk and hangout with helps so much too. Yet still there is that "Am i using this or that ability right." and "Am i moving fast enough, pulling enough, doing mechanics right.." going through the mind despite saying fudge it and just go or double checking guides on the content i queue for. I just want to try get to a point of being able to consider myself a tank mama that take care of the party i'm with xD Silly goal i know, and made harder by preferring dark knight.