Things i have tried. without success

Compatibility mode - lowest res, and removed fullscreen optimizations
ran as admin
updated drivers - my machine is old as hell so there hasn't been an update in years.
disabled .net framework 4.8 and installed 4.5 (didnt work so ive reverted back)
modified the ffxiv config file to change resolutions
deleted the entire final fantasy folder in Documents>My Games and had it recreate all the files.
downgraded Directx to 11 (moved back to 12 when it didnt fix it)