I've been playing through the problems. If you're just doing MSQ or other solo activities, it's annoying but not too bad to have to kill the game and restart it. If you're on a congested server and/or playing around primetime, it might help to temporarily transfer to Dynamis to mitigate the long queues when you inevitably have to restart, although you should be aware of the limitations when you're a traveler—and note that you may not be able to transfer back until a less busy time of day.

For group content, if I manage to load into the duty successfully (which is most of the time, although I've had it freeze twice on first join), I let the party/alliance know that I'm on Xbox and may crash out on loading screens (having a keyboard helps a LOT here). People are generally pretty understanding as long as they know what's going on, though I also had one weird instance where I froze during an alliance raid while on Dynamis, and came back to find that I was back in the world and couldn't rejoin the duty.

The situation sucks, yeah, but as a software developer myself, maybe I'm a little more sympathetic to the whole situation. Xbox is not a "red-headed stepchild," and CS3 is not a bunch of lazy devs—you can test all you want, but testing conditions and simulations will never be a replacement for having hundreds of thousands of people actively hammering the system. Issues like this can be especially difficult to troubleshoot and debug when they depend on such variable conditions, and I'm sure they're just as frustrated as we are and trying their best to get it fixed. Just give it time