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  1. #31
    Player
    Rueby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    Location
    Zenos' Pockets
    Posts
    849
    Character
    Vera Nova
    World
    Spriggan
    Main Class
    Gunbreaker Lv 90
    Quote Originally Posted by Vyrerus View Post
    ...
    It's so funny that in this great community I experienced and heard about the worst dramas and actually reached a point where I dreaded waking up. Perhaps not everyone is running into the best of the community. This game has alot of amazing people, but let's not pretend everyone is sunshine and rainbows. I've been in drama and heard of drama that I've never imagined was possible.

    You won't really get to know someone unless you add them, some people don't really show who they are until months later. If we're close and bestfriends, we'd be talking often, you wouldn't be giving me a reason (in my opinion) to remove you. I'm not going to remove you based on whims, if I had positive interactions with you, then I have no reason to remove you, you gave me no reason to feel unsafe.

    This game does so little to protect people's privacy.
    Someone got your Lodestone URL? Good luck, no amount of name changes/world swaps can ever save you.
    Had a really bad experience with someone? Good luck, you added them and now you're forever on their list.
    Literally blocked someone who was on your list? Good luck, you're still on their friendlist.
    Not in an instance? The Player Search is few clicks away.

    An argument can be made that some people are unhinged and might actually start acting upon realizing they've been removed/blocked. I experienced this with a dude who decided I was the love of his life after few weeks of interaction and stalked me for years across social media- it stemmed from the fact that he forced my hand. I tried to communicate with him at the time and still am not interested in relationships but he kept acting like I was his GF, when I removed him he went crazy. So...I can see this being a dilemma.

    1. I'd like agency over my privacy
    2. I don't know if wanting agency over my privacy will cause someone to turn into an unhinged stalker

    I think both situations are valid and both situations are very scary. Not feeling safe or feeling like you're tracked is awful and I don't wish it upon anyone. I was interested to see the counter arguments, but I guess I presented a counter argument for my own suggestion. This is the 'on the fence' situation that I spoke about in my OP.

    If you removed me from your list on a whim or if you opted out of communicating with me...then we were never close and if we were I'd be hurt, but I'd maybe reach out, if not then I'll respect it and move on.

    I want to be able to add people, get to know them, and if things don't work out, we can go our seperate ways without compromising anyone's privacy. I just want some agency over my privacy/location/activity. If there was an appear offline option I'd happily use it. Or perhaps a way to select certain friends to appear online to. I don't know honestly.
    (3)

  2. #32
    Player
    Reinha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Finland
    Posts
    4,069
    Character
    Reinha Sorrowmoon
    World
    Odin
    Main Class
    Reaper Lv 100
    Quote Originally Posted by Bonoki View Post
    If someone decides to remove themselves from my friends list, I view it as their way of ending our connection without any need for confrontation. I appreciate the quiet closure rather than persisting in upholding a relationship that has become insincere.
    Yeah, exactly! And because I don't want to have this kind of one sided relationship where the other person has already moved on, I want to have a way to clear out every friend of mine that does not consider me to be theirs. I have no desire to blacklist anyone, but I don't want their name to be highlighted in a crowd as an invitation to talk to them if they don't want to associate with me anymore. It's weird and cringe for people to want to occupy someone's friend list when they've already removed that person from their own list. Why do they seek to maintain the facade?
    (1)
    Last edited by Reinha; 05-11-2024 at 12:36 AM.

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