Friend Removal should be bothways

[Rueby]

I tried to give Yoshi P the benefit of the doubt, that perhaps it might cause confrontation but upon thinking about it....

If someone deletes me from their friendlist, I'd like them to be removed from mine as well and vice versa.

I used to be on the fence about it, but the friendlist system is a privacy nightmare to me. The idea of me staying forever on someone's FL even if I remove them is bizarre. Maybe give us an option for a permanent deletion or if you block someone you get deleted from their FL.

I think the Blacklist changes in DT are nice and will give people options so I'm hopeful the friendlist will get similar treatment.

I'd love to hear people's thoughts about it.

If you think it shouldn't be so, why do you think so?

[Saraide]

To me it has never made sense why this game works that way. People unfriend others for a reason. This 'no confrontation' arguement is so weird. No one wants the friend system to send 'hey dingledork, your friend unfriended you because you're a dumbass' in a moogle letter, just remove me from the other person's list like a normal game.

[LianaThorne]

Been asked for for years now by many people. Welcome to the club, grab a cushion and make yourself comfy. You'll be here for a while.

[sindriiisgaming]

They simply do not have it high enough on there radar atm even tho I personally think its not acceptable rn the state its in

[Jojoya]

If you think it shouldn't be so, why do you think so?

While I 100% agree with you that the two-way removal is needed, I think players also need to take some responsibility and make better decisions about who they are adding to their friends list and why. The reality is that most of the time, they aren't friends at all and are simply another player met in passing.

Do you know enough about that other player that you're okay with them having information about what you're doing in game?

Would you have a specific reason to want to talk to that player in the future?

[LianaThorne]

While I 100% agree with you that the two-way removal is needed, I think players also need to take some responsibility and make better decisions about who they are adding to their friends list and why. The reality is that most of the time, they aren't friends at all and are simply another player met in passing.

Do you know enough about that other player that you're okay with them having information about what you're doing in game?

Would you have a specific reason to want to talk to that player in the future?

Here is where I'm gonna disagree with you because people are capable of hiding who they actually are for long periods of time, look at abusers that don't show their true colors until after marriage or people who you think are your friends for years suddenly doing a 180 and scamming you for Fan Fest tickets (YouTube that if you're curious). You can't really predict the future or what people are going to do. Unless someone gives off some really sheisty vibes from the start (or even in the early period of getting to know them), how are you supposed to know that that person is someone who will eventually be problematic?

[Bonoki]

I completely agree. Friend removal should work both ways. It seems that SE is adamant about lacking sufficient evidence of people using the friend list to stalk and harass. They've convinced themselves that leaving it as is makes things less confrontational.

While I 100% agree with you that the two-way removal is needed, I think players also need to take some responsibility and make better decisions about who they are adding to their friends list and why. The reality is that most of the time, they aren't friends at all and are simply another player met in passing.

Do you know enough about that other player that you're okay with them having information about what you're doing in game?

Would you have a specific reason to want to talk to that player in the future?

I understand the sentiment about being responsible for who we add, but this game tends to send friend requests quickly, sometimes even before you truly know someone beyond a few messages. It's often just for the convenience of teleporting to a friend's estate. Once you add someone, it's a commitment. If you express hesitance, wanting to know the person better before accepting, it can come across as insecurity or stiffness, possibly leading the other person to assume you have trust issues. It's a tricky situation. It's in the same vein when someone opens with, "Mare?" or "Funny moon code?", if you ignore it, they assume you didn't want to be friends in the first place.

[Rueby]

While I 100% agree with you that the two-way removal is needed, I think players also need to take some responsibility and make better decisions about who they are adding to their friends list and why. The reality is that most of the time, they aren't friends at all and are simply another player met in passing.

Do you know enough about that other player that you're okay with them having information about what you're doing in game?

Would you have a specific reason to want to talk to that player in the future?

I see your point, but I disagree with you. Being responsible is one thing but even if you're careful, people can change, shit happens. You can't be responsible for things that may happen down the line, I doubt anyone should be expected to psycho analyze a person before they add them nor should they. I've seen this whole 'people change' or people are simply showing who they really are, months and sometimes years down the line.

Some people are obvious red banners, on my main I was really naive and added everyone who added me because I wanted to have fun and socialize, then I realized how the friendlist works. I had to make an alt to have a 'fresh' start, but I have a keen desire to socialize and talk to people. Now I'm just scared of adding anyone anymore and I get this crippling guilt when I have a good talk with someone and I want to add them and hang out again but my brain defaults to like 'yeah nah'. I really miss the time when I was a sprout and wanted to talk to people and make friends. I shouldn't have to worry about 'this person could permanently have me on their FL and I don't really know them'

Note : I do struggle alot with privacy, the idea that my location is so easily accessible is really something I'm uncomfortable with. The game's open world is really small, if you really want to find someone, you really can- quite easily.

[WinglessSeraphim]

While I 100% agree with you that the two-way removal is needed, I think players also need to take some responsibility and make better decisions about who they are adding to their friends list and why. The reality is that most of the time, they aren't friends at all and are simply another player met in passing.

Professor, isn't victim blaming/shaming wrong? We all can't be as perfect as you are. No one can hold a candle to SE's MVP. It must be so lonely at the top.

In all unseriousness, it's a game where strangers meet in passing. Who is really going to run a criminal record/credit check, personality profile questionnaires, etc. on someone in a game in order to put them on their top 200 list of other random people? Just the professor.

[Jeeqbit]

I think there's not much point making it remove you from other people's lists just for the sake of it. I think that blacklisting the person should do that though, since this is planned to make them disappear. Obviously if you are at a point where you are doing this to them, it may as well fully remove you from their friends list as well. The situation must be really bad if you are at this point where you don't even want to see them render.