Hypothetical Question

[Jojoya]

Sure. It's the content that I've been playing for all along. When I first started, I had only known one other player who had tried the game out. It's been nice to see some of my friends pick it up along the way not to mention the game friends I've made over the years.

I'm always connecting with new people as I play. As some game friends choose to move on, others will appear. Real life friends will remain friends and it could be we'd start playing other games together but it won't stop me from playing this one as long as I continue to enjoy it.

[strawberrycake]

I've had several friend groups over the last several years and they hve all quit due to community based issues or due to SE being how they are making them lose faith in the company as a whole. I have a few friends who still play but unless they really match up with how I approach the game, I'm happy to know I know people who play, even if we don't always play together.

As of right now I've been playing alone again due to work and am looking forward to making new friends in DT, but if the content isn't great I may takea well deserved break from XIV until 8.0.

[Jeeqbit]

if your friends/community in 14 suddenly decided to quit the game tomorrow would the game itself (i.e. the content) be enough to make you stay?

Yes, because I don't rely on a single friend or community. I communicate in an abundance of discord servers with different people or friend groups, random PF groups and PUG discords, random DF parties I'm matched into including alliance raids, hunt and FATE /shout chats, PF map parties, linkshells, CWLS, novice networks, my FC and the forums, to the point where if any single one were removed, the others would make up for it. I also just consume FF content occasionally via YouTube or Twitch which can also be social.

A lot of people struggle to find social interaction in the game. But I am not one of those people. Those people just lack all the ideas I mentioned, as well as ones I didn't mention such as RP and venues.

[Ath192]

Yes, because I don't rely on a single friend or community. I communicate in an abundance of discord servers with different people or friend groups, random PF groups and PUG discords, random DF parties I'm matched into including alliance raids, hunt and FATE /shout chats, PF map parties, linkshells, CWLS, novice networks, my FC and the forums, to the point where if any single one were removed, the others would make up for it. I also just consume FF content occasionally via YouTube or Twitch which can also be social.

A lot of people struggle to find social interaction in the game. But I am not one of those people. Those people just lack all the ideas I mentioned, as well as ones I didn't mention such as RP and venues.

Here is the thing about these things you have mentioned, they are completely impersonal and I wouldn't consider this an actual meaningful socialization. Of course you can participate and discords and novice network and twitch but none of these people are your actual friends, or maybe some are (and this here is the key, those are the ones that matter), for example if you leave those discords or stop interacting noone will notice you are gone, if you need help, unless they have nothing to do they won't drop what they are doing to come help you out.

So it's not that we don't lack these ideas, its that when we talk about friends, we mean FRIENDS, not random people you interact with on occasion. There is such a thing as being alone in a group, and you shouldn't confuse that with a community that personally cares about who you are and what you are doing.

Like these forums, sure, we interact, but its not like we're gonna hang out together or wonder about each other is doing. When you lose good friends, or they move on to something else they aren't easy to replace, because the relationship was built over a long period of time, the personalities have to mesh well, and generally it requires activities in game that strengthen those bonds, such as hard to beat content. So I'm pretty sure this is the kind of community we are discussing and not the random discord groups, twitch channels and Novice network where you merely talk with others.

[LianaThorne]

Here is the thing about these things you have mentioned, they are completely impersonal and I wouldn't consider this an actual meaningful socialization. Of course you can participate and discords and novice network and twitch but none of these people are your actual friends, or maybe some are (and this here is the key, those are the ones that matter), for example if you leave those discords or stop interacting noone will notice you are gone, if you need help, unless they have nothing to do they won't drop what they are doing to come help you out.

So it's not that we don't lack these ideas, its that when we talk about friends, we mean FRIENDS, not random people you interact with on occasion. There is such a thing as being alone in a group, and you shouldn't confuse that with a community that personally cares about who you are and what you are doing.

Like these forums, sure, we interact, but its not like we're gonna hang out together or wonder about each other is doing. When you lose good friends, or they move on to something else they aren't easy to replace, because the relationship was built over a long period of time, the personalities have to mesh well, and generally it requires activities in game that strengthen those bonds, such as hard to beat content. So I'm pretty sure this is the kind of community we are discussing and not the random discord groups, twitch channels and Novice network where you merely talk with others.

Yep, the community/friendships you personally built up over x amount of time (not just people you randomly chat with on occasion but actual bonds).

[Jeeqbit]

Here is the thing about these things you have mentioned, they are completely impersonal and I wouldn't consider this an actual meaningful socialization.

You're absolutely right! You have identified why I play an MMORPG. For the impersonal natural of communication.

Maintaining a personal friendship with someone is effort. Scheduling around them, doing everything you can to be their "best friend" only for them to consider someone else their best friend that they don't talk to as much.

You can grow too attached to these friends and become dependent on them. And if something happens to them, it could affect you in a big way.

So eventually I felt it would just be a whole lot easier to allow my interactions to be fleeting. I have conversations with people as if they are my friends. In some cases, I will have another conversation with them weeks, months or years later. Sometimes they will just "see me around" (sort of like on these forums).

But none of them will truly know me so I won't have to deal with the emotions that come with that too much, nor will I carry the burden of being available for them always.

That is the strength of an MMORPG. You are exposed to people and conversations and community constantly. It can remove your loneliness to the maximum extent, without the need to deal with actual friendships.

Whether it removes your loneliness depends on your mindset. You can be surrounded by people constantly (like a celebrity) and be lonely, or you can have a small group of friends with rare interactions with others and feel like everyone you've ever met is your friend and feel socially fulfilled. It's all about mindset and who you consider a friend, really.

Discovering that made me happy and content. I literally rely on no single person to make me happy. Like an investor, my eggs are not all in one basket.

noone will notice you are gone

I think some of them would because I ponder that sometimes when people vanish.

[Ath192]

You're absolutely right! You have identified why I play an MMORPG. For the impersonal natural of communication.

Maintaining a personal friendship with someone is effort. Scheduling around them, doing everything you can to be their "best friend" only for them to consider someone else their best friend that they don't talk to as much.

You can grow too attached to these friends and become dependent on them. And if something happens to them, it could affect you in a big way.

So eventually I felt it would just be a whole lot easier to allow my interactions to be fleeting. I have conversations with people as if they are my friends. In some cases, I will have another conversation with them weeks, months or years later. Sometimes they will just "see me around" (sort of like on these forums).

But none of them will truly know me so I won't have to deal with the emotions that come with that too much, nor will I carry the burden of being available for them always.

That is the strength of an MMORPG. You are exposed to people and conversations and community constantly. It can remove your loneliness to the maximum extent, without the need to deal with actual friendships.

Whether it removes your loneliness depends on your mindset. You can be surrounded by people constantly (like a celebrity) and be lonely, or you can have a small group of friends with rare interactions with others and feel like everyone you've ever met is your friend and feel socially fulfilled. It's all about mindset and who you consider a friend, really.

Discovering that made me happy and content. I literally rely on no single person to make me happy. Like an investor, my eggs are not all in one basket.

I think some of them would because I ponder that sometimes when people vanish.

Fair take. I would have to say I'm a lot more discerning about who I consider a friend vs acquaintance.

[LilimoLimomo]

You're absolutely right! You have identified why I play an MMORPG. For the impersonal natural of communication.

Maintaining a personal friendship with someone is effort. Scheduling around them, doing everything you can to be their "best friend" only for them to consider someone else their best friend that they don't talk to as much.

You can grow too attached to these friends and become dependent on them. And if something happens to them, it could affect you in a big way.

So eventually I felt it would just be a whole lot easier to allow my interactions to be fleeting. I have conversations with people as if they are my friends. In some cases, I will have another conversation with them weeks, months or years later. Sometimes they will just "see me around" (sort of like on these forums).

But none of them will truly know me so I won't have to deal with the emotions that come with that too much, nor will I carry the burden of being available for them always.

That is the strength of an MMORPG. You are exposed to people and conversations and community constantly. It can remove your loneliness to the maximum extent, without the need to deal with actual friendships.

Whether it removes your loneliness depends on your mindset. You can be surrounded by people constantly (like a celebrity) and be lonely, or you can have a small group of friends with rare interactions with others and feel like everyone you've ever met is your friend and feel socially fulfilled. It's all about mindset and who you consider a friend, really.

Discovering that made me happy and content. I literally rely on no single person to make me happy. Like an investor, my eggs are not all in one basket.

Wow, reading that took the rest of the emotional energy I had for today. It sounds rough, but I guess you also feel like it's working for you and makes you happy? If so that's probably all that matters.

Personally, I need to have more in-depth friendships in my life, but I do agree that the sort of ad-hoc interactions with strangers that MMO's provide is satisfying to another facet of my social needs.

[Jeeqbit]

Wow, reading that took the rest of the emotional energy I had for today. It sounds rough, but I guess you also feel like it's working for you and makes you happy? If so that's probably all that matters.

It is and it does make me happy, so I agree.

I don't think it's necessarily uncommon for this to happen to people, because they often have a lot of people they interact with occasionally, but don't know in an extremely deep way, such as at a school or university or other place with a lot of "regular" people. I just stopped particularly chasing the close friends thing, and adjusted my mindset.

There is a drawback to it when health problems occur because that can be hard to handle alone, but outside of that it just works for me.

[Brynne]

I'd continue to play for the content but queueing for anything would be nerve-wracking for me without friends to queue together with. I'd try to make new friends in the game ASAP.