PLD: If you continue swearing, I'll have no choice but to report you to the GMs.
WAR: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
DRK: The sword is huge so I can feel it when I cut myself.
GNB: Would steal your girl if they weren't too nice to do it.

MNK: ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA.
NIN: MUDRA MUDRA MUDRA MUDRA MUDRA MUDRA MUDRA MUDRA.
SAM: Cries when someone else gets Dance Partner.
RPR: DRK for people who can't tank.
DRG: I'm a tank. Tanking the floor counts.

MCH: Fully embraces the fact that most mad scientists are in fact mad engineers.
BRD: Fully embraces the fact that most people just pick this job to play music in Limsa.
DNC: Fully embraces the fact that their parse is dependent on the gorram SAM/BLM.

SMN: For people who want to play while eating a sandwich.
RDM: It rezes people. That's what it does. Don't like it? Play something else.
BLM :CRAAAWWWWLLLLLLLLLING IIIIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIN! THESE WOOOOUUUUNNNDS THEY WIIIIILLLLLLL NOT HEEEAAAAALLLLLLL!

WHM: Wait, I have something to press besides Cure?
AST: (I don't even know. I never played it. Cards suck.)
SCH: Jack of all trades, master of none.
SGE: Harmacist.