I'm bored when I heal because I need more complex DPS rotations

[LilimoLimomo]

While game design is going to strive to provide the optimal user experience, game design in and of itself is not the solution to player conflict.

Oh it's certainly not the tool, because as you've said, zero is never a realistic expectation. But game design does sculpt player behavior, and thus it's a valuable tool in a designer's arsenal to mitigate conflict and promote harmony.

I would dispute that in FFXIV there is a "non-trivial" chance of encountering TOS violations

It sounds like you're implying that in your experience you haven't seen much of this behavior, and I believe you when you say that. I'm sure each player's experience varies.

I'd also hazard that players like us that are good at the game are much less likely to witness such behavior, as we have to simultaneously end up in a group with both a "callout" player and a "barely good enough" player to see this; if only one of those is present, we won't see it.
ie: Probability of Experiencing Callout = Likelihood of Grouping with "Callout" Player x Likelihood of Grouping with "Barely Good Enough" Player

However, when you are a "barely good enough" player, there's always a "barely good enough" player in your group, and that means all it takes is:
ie: Probability of Experiencing Callout = Likelihood of Grouping with "Callout" Player