Good thread, OP.

I think ultimately what matters is that people keep their criticisms to the game, not other players. When folks are attacking other players, that's not valid criticism of the game, and it shouldn't surprise anyone that folks see that and think the people doing it are kind of rage filled haters. (As can be seen even in this thread's first couple pages).

On the other hand, criticism of the game itself can be done by people that want to see the game improved (or at least improved from their perspective), which is honestly fine, though it must also allow people to argue the opposed position of they happen to like things as they are.

When the criticisms shift from the game to attacks on other players and other perspectives, I think that's when it becomes toxic. There's no benefit and the Devs can't improve the game based on "I think the only people that want X are people that AFK in Limsa all the time and don't even play the game" or similar.