This thread made me lol. I'm sorry but I don't get how you could get stuck in the opening instance for an hour without being able to figure out how to attack a mob.

You say that you've played several other MMO's and are experienced at figuring out the controls, but there are a ton of games with controls just like Final Fantasy XIV including:

Final Fantasy XI, EverQuest 1 and 2, Asheron's Call, Dungeons and Dragons Online, Shadowbane, etc. In almost every mmo (even wow) you select your target and then you press the hotkey for the action you want to do to attack. Theres nothing different with FFXIV. Setting your skills might be kind of confusing the first time around, but you have no skills to attach in the opening instance.

Maybe try using a gamepad?