I dunno what to say, maybe try a different server or region? Different regions seem to have different common sense/ethics/manners regarding online play and perhaps you are (unfortunately) in a bad one.
In game I have had maaaaybe 5 bad experiences in my nearly 10 years of play. On these English Forums? Man, trolls be out daily.
So, broadly speaking the FFXIV game FOSTERS a nice community, but if the region you are in or particular mix of peeps on your server stink, it’s not on FFXIV to fix that.
Jeeqbit’s post summed it up nicely.