indeed, i also decided to try a little idea. i then switched from the netherlands to a usa vpn on proton. i wasn't able to connect though until the 3rd try. after that i disconnected from the vpn and tried to reconnect. however i should state that i first logged out to the character selection screen first before i disconnected from the vpn service.
once i was disconnected from the vpn i then tried to reconnect to my character on malboro. it only took one try but i was surprised i was on! i am still on and waiting in queue for heaven on high. i don't know why this worked but here i am. maybe this will work for some or all of you? this has to be an issue on SE's side for sure as most of you postulated.