No, I will not be explaining
No, I will not be explaining
Glam, adventure, and the power of friendship? I mean... yes. And? lol
Endwalker's story in one picture
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Modern FFXIV forums in one photo:
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Mortal Fist
Heh, I can go one further than that and sum up every expansion's story:
1.0: It's bad to live in someone else's past - also, you join Professor Minfilia's Home for Wayward Echo Users and annoy Ifrit, then get beaten up by Ghraf from Xenogears. Then that's all thrown aside because Steampunk Roman Vader shows up, kicks Grahf Mk II to the side and threatens to drop a giant space rock unless people join his racist cult. Also bugs and glitches...
ARR: Something something giant crystal sings to you... also childminding a spoiled brat after joining Professor Minfilia's Home for Wayward Echo Users Mk II while chasing Ghraf and his new dragon robot and collecting the six magical Mcguffins to wreck said dragon robot. Then man with no shadow stabs Ghraf in the back.
HW: Game of Thrones but the dragons are space aliens and Westeros is run by the Catholic Church with a pope who wants to be God. Also stabs Man With No Shadow in the back as part of becoming said God.
SB: World War II but the belligerent is Steampunk Ancient Rome led by an invincible superpowered samurai and his abused dominatrix underlings. Also something something wandering aimlessly around Fantasy!Hiroshima for eight hours.
ShB: 'Light is not good', the expansion pack. Then becomes 'Emet's-Super-Fun-Happy-Playtime-Adventure-Under-the-Sea-Through-The Tempest-to-Utopia-by-way-of-the-Book of Revelation'.
EW:Everything that is wrong with the universe is because a space probe got depressed. Said space probe then proceeds to remind you how much COVID sucks. Also Mama loves you but hates her own family (but it's okay because they were utter jerks).
Note that the above is stated with my tongue firmly wedged in my cheek.
(Also spoilered EW's bit even though it was satire, it's still spoilerish)
Heh, I can go one further than that and sum up every expansion's story:
1.0: It's bad to live in someone else's past - also, you join Professor Minfilia's Home for Wayward Echo Users and annoy Ifrit, then get beaten up by Ghraf from Xenogears. Then that's all thrown aside because Steampunk Roman Vader shows up, kicks Grahf Mk II to the side and threatens to drop a giant space rock unless people join his racist cult. Also bugs and glitches...
ARR: Something something giant crystal sings to you... also childminding a spoiled brat after joining Professor Minfilia's Home for Wayward Echo Users Mk II while chasing Ghraf and his new dragon robot and collecting the six magical Mcguffins to wreck said dragon robot. Then man with no shadow stabs Ghraf in the back.
HW: Game of Thrones but the dragons are space aliens and Westeros is run by the Catholic Church with a pope who wants to be God. Also stabs Man With No Shadow in the back as part of becoming said God.
SB: World War II but the belligerent is Steampunk Ancient Rome led by an invincible superpowered samurai and his abused dominatrix underlings. Also something something wandering aimlessly around Fantasy!Hiroshima for eight hours.
ShB: 'Light is not good', the expansion pack. Then becomes 'Emet's-Super-Fun-Happy-Playtime-Adventure-Under-the-Sea-Through-The Tempest-to-Utopia-by-way-of-the-Book of Revelation'.
EW:Everything that is wrong with the universe is because a space probe got depressed. Said space probe then proceeds to remind you how much COVID sucks. Also Mama loves you but hates her own family (but it's okay because they were utter jerks).
Note that the above is stated with my tongue firmly wedged in my cheek.
(Also spoilered EW's bit even though it was satire, it's still spoilerish)
Godtier Storytelling. We'll need 1 more bin for the 7.0 Epic
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