I have anxiety running dungeons, why the pressure?

[Venjenz]

Some of that might comes from not liking the idea of being responsible for someone elses fun. I feel that same way, i dont like the idea that the way i play effects how much fun someone else has, so even in dungeons with mechanics i know 100% perfectly i still get antsy.

This. My previous bouts of tank anxiety caused me to quit the game altogether, twice. DF/PUG anxiety is legit in a game where a pretty serious chunk of the population has >10k hours played.

That said, to both GumiBee and Carin-Eri (and anyone who has the same sorts of anxiety), I say this - just because someone has spent 10k+ hours playing FF14 does not make you in any way responsible for their fun and enjoyment for however long they are grouped with you. In a game where the range of experience/skill runs from "total n00b who dies trying to ride their chocobo" all the way to "solos Ultimate raids wielding a spoon and wearing a bikini", EVERYONE falls somewhere in between, and despite what some folks say on the forums about how easy the game is FOR THEM, there was a day when they stood in the bad, caused wipes, goofed 3 out of every 4 rotations, got tunnel visioned, got lost, watched all the cut scenes, etc. At some point in their past, they were worse than how you imagine you are right now. I am on my 3rd go 'round with this game, and at level 60 and purposely staying in ARR content until I get the practice I need to quell my own anxiety, I am still finding out new stuff in this game I never even knew about.

And one other thing - even in super easy content, tanks die. I have had at least half a dozen deaths from not being healed even after I popped all my CDs and potion, I have seen countless pulls where one of the DPS mentally checks out and does exactly nothing, been in plenty of boss fights where it isn't just bad timing or being a quarter second late to react, but purposely standing in ALL THE BAD like a deer in the headlights, and that is just in ARR content. But having done my share of herpity derp dumb, I figure they are just newer than me and this is how it goes as you learn. When I try heals or DPS, I am sure I will herpity derp plenty. That's why I have a "my bad, sorry" macro hotkeyed.

It's a game. If someone spends an extra 30-90 seconds in a dungeon because you didn't have a flawless DPS rotation, or overhealed instead of letting your tank go to 5% while maxing that sweet healer deepz, or you tanked and didn't W2W the dungeon because you just weren't sure you could....well, they'll get over it. Or they won't. 10 seconds into the next duty, they'll have forgotten all about you. If you think you could do better, pick that same duty and try it again, and again, and again....until you think yeah, you have that one figured out. In the meantime, remember that games are for fun. It's what I tell myself when I feel the anxiety. =)

EDIT - and even if your party wipes and you solo a boss to recover the run, which I just did, you get no player comms. There is literally no rhyme or reason to how people act in FF14...and I just got my anxiety cured. LOL.

[Lunaxia]

I have to agree regarding counselling. It might be helpful in the short term to offer advice, but that only marginally mitigates the immediate anxiety and not what's behind it. The truth is, if you (generally speaking) are feeling such extreme levels of anxiety while playing an anonymous video game in the comfort of your own home to the point that you're struggling to play, it's likely indicative of bigger social anxiety problems IRL you might want to look at with a therapist.

Ultimately, it's a video game. You'll likely never see those people again, and they'll forget who you even are within five minutes of leaving the duty. Even if they were to react negatively (which happens at some point no matter how well you might play overall), when you remember how they react is a reflection of themselves and actually nothing to do with you, you'll be a lot happier.