The Official Forums is an EXTREMELY poor example of a "Good Community"

[Renalt]

Sorry I'm having a heard time putting the thoughts and feelings into words so I may get off track.

Anyway people feel SO strongly about things and passion is good but you gotta leave out the hate. None of us are special. What one likes someone else is gonna hate and that's just the way things are going to be. If there is a middle ground I'm sure they are trying to get that up and running. You guys just somehow react as if you have been personally WRONGED and you just hold grudges. I UNDERSTAND that feeling. It feels good to be angry and feel validated in your rage. I've been there. However let me tell you from experience...Rage has a cost and I'm going to tell you what I paid.

Decades ago when I was 18 I had a big fight with my family. My other specifically and I heard what most have probably heard before..."You live under our house, so you live under our rules". Well I said "Understandable. Goodbye" and I left. I was so angry at them ( sorry not going into the why ) and I moved out of state and as far away as possible. I didn't say a WORD to them for years. People in my hometown actually thought I was dead because I popped smoke and vanished with no word and that's the way I wanted it. I wanted to punish them for what they did and I felt JUSTIFIED in my anger. However years go by and my aunt tracked me down while I was at work...

"Renalt. Your mother is dead. Please come home."

I was still angry. I told them I was busy at work and couldn't be bothered with things. So they left. It wasn't until like another 2 years when I reconciled with my family and paid them a visit. I just got home and I was on the couch and for the most part it was exactly the same house. "Oh hey that's a nice vase. When did you get that?" "I got it when your mother died".

That was the moment it just all hit me. I was so STUPID and I wasted all these years on a stupid argument. Can I apologize? No. She's in front of me but she is just a pile of ashes. Nothing I can do now. That was the moment I promised myself to...just let things go. Don't let things get to me and hold grudges forever. It's not healthy and yeah it FEELS good to be angry and get the adrenaline pumping but eventually you're gonna come down from that and you will have paid the price in one way or another be it time, friends, family, whatever.

Now I know a death in the family and some mechanics in a game is comparing apples to buildings...but the moral of it is sound. Yes...some things in the game are going to upset you. Some people are gonna like a thing and others will not. All of that is OK. Say your piece then move on. You'll be happier for it.

[Kalania]

Sorry I'm having a heard time putting the thoughts and feelings into words so I may get off track.

Anyway people feel SO strongly about things and passion is good but you gotta leave out the hate. None of us are special. What one likes someone else is gonna hate and that's just the way things are going to be. If there is a middle ground I'm sure they are trying to get that up and running. You guys just somehow react as if you have been personally WRONGED and you just hold grudges. I UNDERSTAND that feeling. It feels good to be angry and feel validated in your rage. I've been there. However let me tell you from experience...Rage has a cost and I'm going to tell you what I paid.

Decades ago when I was 18 I had a big fight with my family. My other specifically and I heard what most have probably heard before..."You live under our house, so you live under our rules". Well I said "Understandable. Goodbye" and I left. I was so angry at them ( sorry not going into the why ) and I moved out of state and as far away as possible. I didn't say a WORD to them for years. People in my hometown actually thought I was dead because I popped smoke and vanished with no word and that's the way I wanted it. I wanted to punish them for what they did and I felt JUSTIFIED in my anger. However years go by and my aunt tracked me down while I was at work...

"Renalt. Your mother is dead. Please come home."

I was still angry. I told them I was busy at work and couldn't be bothered with things. So they left. It wasn't until like another 2 years when I reconciled with my family and paid them a visit. I just got home and I was on the couch and for the most part it was exactly the same house. "Oh hey that's a nice vase. When did you get that?" "I got it when your mother died".

Your situation is the reason why I do not cut off my mother; my parents and I (more my mother and I) do not really see eye to eye. My mother is disdainful of my choices in life; my choice to be a traditional wife and mother instead of going to college and working a unfulfilling job. I've thought many times of moving but I'd never actually fully cut her off, even though many would say I should. Kin and Kith, it's an important thing.

Btw I had a cousin who committed suicide. We lived so far from family though; if I had known; I wish I had reached out to him, been a friend at least.

[Zaniel]

I didn't read 11 pages of replies but this forum is EXTREMELY small compared to other MMOs I have played, even ones with much smaller playerbases. If you read WoW's forums or even a smaller game like Warframe you will hardly see the same people posting twice (other than a few regular trolls). Here? Literally every post is one of the "usual suspects" (on any particular side of a viewpoint).

When you get small population samples like this, the people posting tend to be extremists in a general sense and so views are condensed right down to the far ends of each limit of the bell curve. Just picking numbers out of the air in somewhere like WoW you have 1% of the population posting and 99% ignoring the forums and that's already super concentrated for opinions, then you come here and its like 0.01% posting and 99.99% just playing the game. There is no way that is conducive to broad-based, population representative discourse, in fact I would pretty say every single OP in this forum holds extreme or generally unrepresentative views (regardless of topic or side).

[Amenara]

I didn't read 11 pages of replies but this forum is EXTREMELY small compared to other MMOs I have played, even ones with much smaller playerbases. If you read WoW's forums or even a smaller game like Warframe you will hardly see the same people posting twice (other than a few regular trolls). Here? Literally every post is one of the "usual suspects" (on any particular side of a viewpoint).

When you get small population samples like this, the people posting tend to be extremists in a general sense and so views are condensed right down to the far ends of each limit of the bell curve. Just picking numbers out of the air in somewhere like WoW you have 1% of the population posting and 99% ignoring the forums and that's already super concentrated for opinions, then you come here and its like 0.01% posting and 99.99% just playing the game. There is no way that is conducive to broad-based, population representative discourse, in fact I would pretty say every single OP in this forum holds extreme or generally unrepresentative views (regardless of topic or side).

To be fair, there is an actual shot (albeit extremely small) that a blue will respond to your topic if it is a worthwhile discussion on the WoW forums. I'd imagine the FF14 forums would be a bit more popular if there was any semblance of SE caring about our opinions at all here.

[Zaniel]

To be fair, there is an actual shot (albeit extremely small) that a blue will respond to your topic if it is a worthwhile discussion on the WoW forums. I'd imagine the FF14 forums would be a bit more popular if there was any semblance of SE caring about our opinions at all here.

That's sort of a chicken/egg problem. If the forums are extremist and/or unrepresentative then the devs have no real reason to view them. Which came first? Dunno, but it's the end-state in which it currently resides.