The Official Forums is an EXTREMELY poor example of a "Good Community"

[Renalt]

Bit of a disclaimer here...This is going to be a LONG post. Probably 2 posts so please hold any and all comments till I say I'm finished at the bottom. Of course you don't have to...but I'd like that. Also this rant ( Yeah a rant kinda ) is coming from a place of love. I love you guys and that's the honest truth. I've made a lot of friends on these forums and I appreciate you guys, but I am worried about some of you. I'm about to disclose some personal things about myself that is going to explain why I handle things the way I do. I hope you can learn what I learned just from my story and not in the way I learned it.

Immediately the TL;DR here is gonna be - People? Come on. Chill out.

Ok so I've been here for a little less than a year but most of you know me and know I'm practically here every day and hitting post caps quite often. You'll also notice for the MOST part I really don't take part in...heated "discussions" and if I DO join in...I usually say my piece and that's it. I also just make jokes...about everything.

However this post here is going to be pretty serious.

Ok introduction over. Time for the meat of things. The Official Forums is a poor example of a good community. Why would I say this?

People are so ANGRY on here. I feel like any thread I go into I should wear a helmet and low crawl so I don't take a stray right to the dome. Even posts just about sitting animations devolves into a rage fest. I'm not saying "Hey suck it up buttercup" or anything of the sort. This is how things get fixed. You have an issue, you lay out what that issue is, you might give a suggestion or two, you may or may not get some like minded individuals to agree and validate the issue OR maybe disagree and have a counter point, but then leave it at that.

However...it usually ends up with people getting offended or try to make it political somehow. Take the sit poses thread for an example. One side will be like, "Hey all races should have all sit animations" while the other side will be like "That defeats having races feel different from others."

Both have valid views but both sides REFUSE to take a moment and even consider the other side. It's absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to please everyone. You can try your best but you will fail at one point or another. Fix one thing and break two in the process. I've tried coding before. I DO NOT have the patience for it. I feel like coding is nothing short of writing spells and "Bam"...the magic happens and things are done. Just you reading this post is...mindboggling if you think about it. I'm clickity clacking away on a keyboard that is just on circuits, chips, and electricity and it becomes letters somehow. Anyway I digress...

Part 2 incoming

[Renalt]

Sorry I'm having a heard time putting the thoughts and feelings into words so I may get off track.

Anyway people feel SO strongly about things and passion is good but you gotta leave out the hate. None of us are special. What one likes someone else is gonna hate and that's just the way things are going to be. If there is a middle ground I'm sure they are trying to get that up and running. You guys just somehow react as if you have been personally WRONGED and you just hold grudges. I UNDERSTAND that feeling. It feels good to be angry and feel validated in your rage. I've been there. However let me tell you from experience...Rage has a cost and I'm going to tell you what I paid.

Decades ago when I was 18 I had a big fight with my family. My other specifically and I heard what most have probably heard before..."You live under our house, so you live under our rules". Well I said "Understandable. Goodbye" and I left. I was so angry at them ( sorry not going into the why ) and I moved out of state and as far away as possible. I didn't say a WORD to them for years. People in my hometown actually thought I was dead because I popped smoke and vanished with no word and that's the way I wanted it. I wanted to punish them for what they did and I felt JUSTIFIED in my anger. However years go by and my aunt tracked me down while I was at work...

"Renalt. Your mother is dead. Please come home."

I was still angry. I told them I was busy at work and couldn't be bothered with things. So they left. It wasn't until like another 2 years when I reconciled with my family and paid them a visit. I just got home and I was on the couch and for the most part it was exactly the same house. "Oh hey that's a nice vase. When did you get that?" "I got it when your mother died".

That was the moment it just all hit me. I was so STUPID and I wasted all these years on a stupid argument. Can I apologize? No. She's in front of me but she is just a pile of ashes. Nothing I can do now. That was the moment I promised myself to...just let things go. Don't let things get to me and hold grudges forever. It's not healthy and yeah it FEELS good to be angry and get the adrenaline pumping but eventually you're gonna come down from that and you will have paid the price in one way or another be it time, friends, family, whatever.

Now I know a death in the family and some mechanics in a game is comparing apples to buildings...but the moral of it is sound. Yes...some things in the game are going to upset you. Some people are gonna like a thing and others will not. All of that is OK. Say your piece then move on. You'll be happier for it.

[Seraphor]

It's online forums, what do you expect?
People either come here for lore/mechanics discussion, or they come here to complain about whatever grievances they have with the game, and the latter is far more common.

If you want 'community' then you want to play the actual game, or join some of the discords built around it.

[Padudu]

If you aren't constantly complaining, are you even living?

But yeah, community: actually playing the game or joining discords. It's not as easy and such, but usually it's more of a good time.

How are hanging in there, Renalt? You good homie?

[Enjuden]

It's the forums. I do not come here unless to complain, briefly look things up or go 'Bruh, use your brain', and I only do the third when wanting to do the first two.

If I didn't care about the game, my complaints wouldn't be here and I would simply leave instead.

Also that comparison is beyond apples and oranges. That's potato to chair. And unnecessary to have here. Also, the edit button goes beyond the 2k limit.

[Renalt]

It's online forums, what do you expect?
People either come here for lore/mechanics discussion, or they come here to complain about whatever grievances they have with the game, and the latter is far more common.

If you want 'community' then you want to play the actual game, or join some of the discords built around it.

I agree somewhat. Like I said I've made some good friends on here and now I have ways to keep in touch with them outside of the forums. My post is just an opinion and people can take it however they like. Not really a wrong answer to be had here. If even one person is like "Yeah ok that makes sense." I'll consider it time well spent.

[Vahlnir]

Discussions on the internet will always get heated if they've gone on long enough, or even if they've just begun. I'm sorry to hear about your familial problems. Truly. That is rough. However, I definitely wouldn't compare that to what is said on here. The internet is a toxic place by default. I always refer to it as the Wild West. This forum is very, very tame when compared to other forums though. What doesn't help is that it feels like there's a complete disconnect between us on the forums and the devs because not even a CM will respond to hot topic issues 99.9% of the time, and when they do it's just about pointless. This is a place to give our feedback, so people have gotten extra frustrated as of late since they feel that their feedback isn't really being heard.

[Renalt]

If you aren't constantly complaining, are you even living?

But yeah, community: actually playing the game or joining discords. It's not as easy and such, but usually it's more of a good time.

How are hanging in there, Renalt? You good homie?

I'm quite good actually. Since that one moment I feel like I'm in a much better spot and also just overall a better person.

[Kansene]

On an older thread I stated that I was amenable to listen to an opposing argument and willing to change my mind on a topic if presented with a convincing schpiel.

The response was along the lines of "no you won't, I know exactly how you think and feel about things forever and you will always disagree with me because I've decided you will"

People on the forum go to such lengths to argue and villify others that they even refuse to entertain the possibility of a good outcome of a discussion where minds can change and people agree.
So I just stopped posting since at that point I just realized that 'discussion' is only the goal of a very few, paling before the goal of 'owning' the 'other'. Now I just lurk because I feel greatly entertained by certain peoples' takes on here.

EDIT: Typos and more clarification.

[Renalt]

Discussions on the internet will always get heated if they've gone on long enough, or even if they've just begun. I'm sorry to hear about your familial problems. Truly. That is rough. However, I definitely wouldn't compare that to what is said on here. The internet is a toxic place by default. I always refer to it as the Wild West. This forum is very, very tame when compared to other forums though. What doesn't help is that it feels like there's a complete disconnect between us on the forums and the devs because not even a CM will respond to hot topic issues 99.9% of the time, and when they do it's just about pointless. This is a place to give our feedback, so people have gotten extra frustrated as of late since they feel that their feedback isn't really being heard.

Oh I agree my comparison isn't much a comparison as it is two completely different solar systems. I do however feel people can just take the moral of "Don't take everything so personally but if you do just discuss the issue and then move on rather than...just get completely absorbed in it".