I am cautiously thinking I have it resolved. But I do not have a single thing to blame, I might slowly try to reintroduce things and determine root cause but I would like to run the game for a while and hope for no more crashes first. I will start with the most likely culprit and go down from there
1. I was failing memory test, both a software check and windows memory diagnostics, I actually opened the case to look for visible damage nothing, BUT I did poke the ram cards to see if they were loose and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary but I did push them in a little
2. I clicked something in the bios for GIGABYTE boot menu to get things to the "recommended defaults"
3. I found a particular option in the bios to support "Legacy Game Support" to "park the e cores when the scroll lock is enabled" That had a direct impact to the games performance in a positive way.
4. I removed an older monitor I had plugged in, being suspicious of outdated drivers for it, as it had an audio driver and no actual audio on the monitor, it was also plugged into the graphics card through an hdmi converter to DP, a suspicious setup

After all of the above my next memory tests passed, which I did not expect, honestly my goal was to get a picture with my phone as grounds to return the machine.
So far I have had a 2 hour session with no crashes and an hour session with no crashes making it through the newest 24 man activity (Machine performed great there btw, kinda why I bought it)
I am still cautious and will simply play a few days and if no crashes I might plug the second monitor back in and see if that was in anyway related.