Thank you for sharing
I'm very much the same - as I said, I don't seem to remember mechanics at all. Doesn't matter how often I play whatever the content is, if it's anything more than a yellow circle on the floor it's very likely going to hit me.
Unfortunately, unlike you, I do become discouraged. I mean, I quite often queue/play with friends - but even then, following a run which involved my performance being dog**** per usual, one of my best friends said "you really did die a lot in that run".
What really sucks is that I really have tried to be better - guides, advice, practice. It just doesn't work.