Successful relationships in-game/IRL?

[LianaThorne]

I would never suggest trying to meet someone significant ingame. Can it happen and work out well? Absolutely. But this seems to be a rarity in encounters of courtship.
I would, however, strongly suggest playing FFXIV with your significant other. Shared hobbies are best enjoyed together.

As someone who has primarily met my partners through online dating/meeting through apps, I don't agree with this. The dating pool in my immediate irl distance is not what I'd call great, nor do I want to subject myself to going to a bar or club to meet someone. I've never had success of any kind there, it honestly just made me want to never step foot into those places again wjth the amount of sexual harassment I've encountered.

Meanwhile I've had some really amazing dates and times with those I've met online or through apps. I also haven't been cheated on since high school with any person I've met online, when all of the relationships I've had in person have led to it. Ultimately, it depends on the person in question and their specific situation but I wouldn't just flat out discourage people from using a different way to find happiness.

Side note, pretty sure the point of finding someone in 14 is to find someone who does share your hobby. Why would you be searching if you already had someone irl interested? Most of the people I've spoken to in terms of having their significant other play with them have said they either aren't interested in gaming or are interested in extremely casual stuff like Animal Crossing. They wish that they had an interest but they just don't and they can't force them to play the game. So, they take on an in game wife that their irl person is perfectly fine with because they know their relationship is solid and their significant other is happy.

As far as it being a rarity, of course it is if you're looking for "the one". The same can also be said about finding someone irl too. You gotta dig through the dirt to find gold, doesn't matter if it's irl or online. Real love takes time to find and honestly won't show up until you DON'T look for it.

[Gwen_Lavellan]

I'll make a suggestion too : don't play the game hoping meeting your special person. Just play the game because... you just want to have fun.
It is just like IRL : the more you want to meet someone, the more people will run away, anyway.

When I bought HW six years ago, all I wanted was to have a good time on FFXIV (I had just finished DA Inquisition) ; I even clearly asked my usual vendor if the game could REALLY be played solo, because at that time, I didn't want to play with people. (bad memories of Dofus, where you had to manually group with folks at dungeon's entrances...)

And it just happened. I NEVER thought something like this can happen on a game. Never. One time, our old FC leader saw me, a Noob, in Gridania and invited me to his new FC, because he was a veterant looking for new players to start something fresh. My hubby wasn't in that FC at that time but him and the FC lead were friends.

TLDR : don't look specifically for this ; it was total random.

[LeonKeyh]

As someone who has primarily met my partners through online dating/meeting through apps, I don't agree with this. The dating pool in my immediate irl distance is not what I'd call great, nor do I want to subject myself to going to a bar or club to meet someone. I've never had success of any kind there, it honestly just made me want to never step foot into those places again wjth the amount of sexual harassment I've encountered.

Meanwhile I've had some really amazing dates and times with those I've met online or through apps. I also haven't been cheated on since high school with any person I've met online, when all of the relationships I've had in person have led to it. Ultimately, it depends on the person in question and their specific situation but I wouldn't just flat out discourage people from using a different way to find happiness.

Side note, pretty sure the point of finding someone in 14 is to find someone who does share your hobby. Why would you be searching if you already had someone irl interested? Most of the people I've spoken to in terms of having their significant other play with them have said they either aren't interested in gaming or are interested in extremely casual stuff like Animal Crossing. They wish that they had an interest but they just don't and they can't force them to play the game. So, they take on an in game wife that their irl person is perfectly fine with because they know their relationship is solid and their significant other is happy.

As far as it being a rarity, of course it is if you're looking for "the one". The same can also be said about finding someone irl too. You gotta dig through the dirt to find gold, doesn't matter if it's irl or online. Real love takes time to find and honestly won't show up until you DON'T look for it.

Meeting online through apps/sites specifically designed to meet up with someone is one thing. Meeting through a video game where the person could literally be anywhere and any person is another.

People get in their heads that they're going to meet the person they love in game and the first time someone shows the possibility of being that person, they pour themselves into a long-term, long-distance relationship with no true value and no endgame in sight. It's one thing to have happened to met someone in game that lives by you, and meeting up at some point. It's another to actually start a relationship in game with no ultimate plans on seeing one another. That's how people throw their lives away under the guise of "hope" and more importantly, ignore the possibilities that are right in front of them.

Meeting people from things like dating apps or Meetup.com is completely different and not what the person you were replying to was talking about.

[Gwen_Lavellan]

Meeting online through apps/sites specifically designed to meet up with someone is one thing. Meeting through a video game where the person could literally be anywhere and any person is another.

People get in their heads that they're going to meet the person they love in game and the first time someone shows the possibility of being that person, they pour themselves into a long-term, long-distance relationship with no true value and no endgame in sight. It's one thing to have happened to met someone in game that lives by you, and meeting up at some point. It's another to actually start a relationship in game with no ultimate plans on seeing one another. That's how people throw their lives away under the guise of "hope" and more importantly, ignore the possibilities that are right in front of them.

Meeting people from things like dating apps or Meetup.com is completely different and not what the person you were replying to was talking about.

This, exactly. English isn't my native language so you putted this way better than I never could, ty !

There is a crucial context difference between games and dating apps : why are we using it. I found a study a few years ago stating why games could be more effective in meeting someone, because of the endorphine we got while playing, and the mutual hobby interest. That study was speaking of the matter of geographical distances too (most of the time bigger between to players in opposition to dating apps).
I'd love finding this study again in order to share it here.

[Reinha]

It's one thing to have happened to met someone in game that lives by you, and meeting up at some point. It's another to actually start a relationship in game with no ultimate plans on seeing one another. That's how people throw their lives away under the guise of "hope" and more importantly, ignore the possibilities that are right in front of them.

On the other hand, limiting yourself to only dating people who live in the same city as you can make you miss out on someone who truly understands you. People move to different cities, states and countries for love. I'm glad my husband made that choice. However, as you said, moving together should be the ultimate goal or else it will end up being a waste of time.

[Leifei]

I'd like to hear some stories about relationships in-game or in real life, originally, i was thinking about amorous relationship but feel free to share friendship too!



I must confess that i'm going through a bad phase and i lost completely my faith in humanity. My dreams aren't helping me at all....so, once again, i'd like to hear your stories.


Thank you.

I've made some good friends in the game. Always meeting new people in-game as well. Some stick around and some don't. Either way, positive vibes. I'm single currently. Flirt with people in-game and in real life, but no focus on finding romance in game. I like to date women that are in a 25 mile radius. Really hard to do that from the game where women can live hundreds of miles way, heh. Elissar(OP), sorry to hear that you're having a rough time, and I hope that things look up for you soon. You got this!

[Curisu]

I met my current GF in-game.
We had been in the same FC, but at the beginning we were just normal friend's like we were with all the other people from the FC. Even had some IRL FC meeting during some convention's. We where not attracted to each other, simply because she was in a relationship at that time and I was looking offline for a partner.

Then the FC felt apart due to some drama and most of the people moved to other server.

I kept a bit in contact with that one girl because we both stayed on our server and had house's next to each other.
But we haven't done more then the occasional roulette together and some simple small talk.
We both became single within the timeframe of 0,5-1 year where we sometimes played together.
And at one point it went from playing once/twice a week to daily rouletts.
Being in VC together for hour's.
Confession of feelings towards eachother.
Planning a day and place for a IRL meet-up (we live 1-2 hour's drive apart)
We meet, liked eachother IRL.
Have been together for 2 year's now and move into the same place next year.

So yea, that is probably something that could have happen in any offline friend group, too.

[LianaThorne]

Meeting online through apps/sites specifically designed to meet up with someone is one thing. Meeting through a video game where the person could literally be anywhere and any person is another.

People get in their heads that they're going to meet the person they love in game and the first time someone shows the possibility of being that person, they pour themselves into a long-term, long-distance relationship with no true value and no endgame in sight. It's one thing to have happened to met someone in game that lives by you, and meeting up at some point. It's another to actually start a relationship in game with no ultimate plans on seeing one another. That's how people throw their lives away under the guise of "hope" and more importantly, ignore the possibilities that are right in front of them.

Meeting people from things like dating apps or Meetup.com is completely different and not what the person you were replying to was talking about.

So, you have a point. I'll give you that. Some very much are just looking for love with no end game. However, there are *some* (myself included) who are fine with that potential of it never working out to physically being with each other. This is ultimately going to come down to an explanation of how I view love so, I apologize if it doesn't make much sense.

For starters, I am demisexual, which is a form of asexuality where I can be attracted to anyone regardless of their gender, sexual preference, appearance, etc. because physical needs take a backseat to the emotional and mental. I do not need any sort of physical intimacy to be happy and I can go months or years without it. Therefore one night stands and the like, things thst don't involve an emotional connection, just do not do anything to me.

So, when it comes to this type of situation, I am perfectly fine with not meeting anyone I am with online in person because my need is the emotional side of things. I also make it very plain to those I meet that this is how I am and that there's a very high chance we might never actually meet. The person that I've been referring to in my posts also knows this reality and is still choosing to stick with me because for both of us, this is enough. If he changes his mind eventually, then that will be devastating but at the same time he's making a choice for him to be happy. I absolutely won't stand in the way of that.

There are just different types of love in the world and different views on relationships and what is or isn't enough. There are some who absolutely need a physical in person relationship and some, like me, who don't. That's why I stress communication is extremely important on both sides so both are aware of the needs of the other and can make an educated decision on whether or not it'll work.

[Carin-Eri]

Also worth noting that for some an in-game relationship can be method of compensating for something that might be missing from their R/L relationship.

[Axxion]

this happened years ago like back in arr. I remember this story correctly (from reddit). Some guy posted up in a pf seeking another male Miqo'te. One joined they started talking and then later they are now married. It was posed here here