Yes, she is. Nothing you have said has any direct parallel to our argument. Jojoya is positing that players will lock people out after going through their gear and seeing they have a DET/TEN ring instead of the hypothetical CRIT/DET ring from Criterion. The notion it absolutely ludicrous. It simply doesn't happen at any level of play. Not even at the high end log level would anyone remotely care. I, for example, could still "barse" 100 despite the healer having some non-bis i630 PIE pieces. So long as they're putting Misery under buffs and pressing Glare, we're golden. So your comparison here is entirely a strawman.
But for the sake of argument, let's address the differences.
The difference between the Abyssos Helm of Fending (TEN>CRIT) and Aug. Lunar Envoy's Face Guard of Fen. (CRIT>DET) is roughly 25 DPS. This is such a negligible amount, you'd have to be performing at a 97-100% pace, consistently, to notice. Even then, it's still extremely marginal. Contrast to the staggering 500+ raw DPS between Dark Knight and Warrior during week 1 prog and it makes considerably more sense why PF locked out jobs. For perspective sake, bringing Gunbreaker and Dark Knight meant you could afford two damage downs on DPS players. We know this because one of the most proficient tanks in the game has a video showcasing the absurd damage discrepancy between jobs. Casters are even worst as Black Mage does comically higher damage than Red Mage. And due to the DPS check being so tight, Verraise was worthless.
It wasn't simply "huhuhu NA meta brain" but simple pragmatism to lock out specific jobs. You had a better chance of clearing, especially with the inconsistencies of party finder, if you insisted on near meta comp even if people playing those meta jobs were only average at best. In fact, I'll use myself for the example here. I logged a 47% on Dark Knight when I switched for door boss. This was less than 150 DPS off the top tanked Warrior and Paladin at the time of our respective clears. In other words, a barely average Dark Knight had near the same damage output as the best Warrior and Paladin. And you wonder why PF was locking out jobs? Tank balance was (and still is) awful.
So no, locking out non-meta jobs and insisting on mechanic skips are nothing alike to using a non-optimal but same ilvl equipment piece.