The Final Fantasy XIV Problem.

[Avoidy]

The issues addressed by OP are why I won't offer assistance unless somebody asks for it first. It's also why I generally avoid dutyfinder unless I feel like witnessing a shitshow.
Sometimes, if the issue is really really bad and it's a thing where... like, I'd want someone to tell me, if I were messing up similarly, then I'll watch them to make sure they're screwing it up, and then ask if they'd like advice. This is very rare. And when it's done, I feel like I'm tiptoeing around broken glass the entire time. I'll phrase it really humbly, and in a way that implies that I just got done learning the job and struggled with it myself soitsreallynobigdeal so they don't feel dumb about it.

It really, really shouldn't have to be this way imo. If you're a WAR who's not using inner release in a level 60+ dungeon, I'm going to inform you about it because I'd want someone to tell me. That skill's cool as hell and you're missing out by not using it.

edit: and to the guy asking if anyone's actually been punished for this sort of thing -- that's the thing, we won't know. If you're dragged into gm jail, the gm can't tell you why you're there. You might've said "shit, my bad!" after dying and someone reported you for profanity. Or that newbie you helped took offense to the way you helped, so now you're in jail. Personally, I've never been to jail but I also keep my mouth shut 90% of the time so