
Originally Posted by
Atelier-Bagur
One night, I was playing Final Fantasy XIV on my PC Macintosh, I booted up the game only to be greeted with the ARR title screen rather than the usual Endwalker screen but unlike the regular ethereal blueish colors it was all in dark purple. I thought that it was strange but I ignored it and decided to log into my character. I started at Old Sharlayan, getting myself ready to do some dailies but strangely enough the aetheryte plaza that had the standard robust number of players was all empty. I figured maybe my internet connection was acting up again and hasnt finished loading all the players but one, two, three up to 5 minutes passed as I walked around and I didnt find not a single player nor any of the usual npcs around town. I was starting to get a bit creeped out a bit and as I made my way to the pier of Old Sharlayan I was able to spot by The Last Stand, a single npc who seemed to be one of the employees working behind the counter. I let out a small sigh of relief, thinking that maybe my game was finally started to load, however something was a bit off about the npc as it wasnt the usual highlander servicing the last stand. No, this npc was a male Au Ra. Out of curiosity I approached the npc in order to speak to him, perhaps this was something that was added in the recent patch I thought to myself.
However the closer I got to him and saw the npc's visage, I realized he had a very angry looking face, much more angrier looking than the usual facetypes Ive grown to see from the Au Ra. I soon noticed the icon above the npc had a quest marker at the top that somehow was redded out as if Ive accepted it before and needed to finish it but strangely enough I had no open quests in my journal. I tried to interact with the NPC and saw the message {Use chat to say "I would like a cheeseburger please"}. I couldnt ever recall picking up such a quest before as Ive already done all of them up to this point, I was getting a bit of chills on my chinny chinchin as I slowly typed into the keyboard the message in the chatbox. As soon as I hit enter, the screen faded to black for what seemed to have and eternity....before finally loading up the cutscene. The NPC's face made an even stronger scowl and I what came next absolutely terrified me as the Au Ra's eyes started to bleed with hyperealistic blood, he then suddenly grabbed my character from behind the counter and began to violently shake me furiously shouting repeatedly "THERES NO HAMBURGERS, ENDWALKER IS BAD, ENDWALKER IS BAD BECAUSE HAMBURGERS. AND MOON BUNNIES"
I let out a high pitched scream, like the same one Timmy Turner's dad used to do in the Fairly Odd Parents before shutting off the computer. The next day I decided to- oh heck it, Im done writing this. This was stupid.