So what exactly are "hosts?" in venues?

[Omedon]

... because it kinda feels like they're "professional temporary friends," and that feels... awkward and not friendly. I want to understand, this is so new to me!

As I've mentioned in what turned out to be a super helpful thread, I'm really, reeeeeally new to FFXIV's own brand of organized, venue-based RP. I am extremely *not* new to text RP in general, being a long time player of MMOs, user of chat rooms and forums and just a generally "RP savvy" person, being a D&D dungeon master for over 30 years. I know RP, I don't need a "from scratch" RP primer, and I certainly don't need the idea of "ERP sex workers" explained to me. I can see that business model being cut and dry for those buying or selling, and I imagine it's easy to define and likely lucrative, but there's this middle ground that makes me really guarded as an experienced RPer in a FFXIV venue.

What exactly is a "host?" Is it just an "on the clock" standard RPer? If so, how does that fit into a pastime known for making friends, sometimes long term friends to share RP with? I ask this rather awkwardly under the hood question because... "on the clock" RP is this thing I feel I constantly need to watch out for, so I don't waste someone's paid time, get depressingly presented with a bill for chatting someone friendly up, or get my own legitimately friendly hopes up. I'm new here, trying to like.. meet cool people, for, you know... friendships that aren't on the clock.

Again, I'm not talking about flirting and ERP, I know how that works and I know there are brothels, but I don't go to pointedly ERP-slanted venues. I mean I'm sure it happens but I don't go there looking for it.

When I browse the "staff" section of a venue's carrd or website, there are clear delineating lines of who the ERP-open "social staff" are and again, that's fine, but there are also people that like... aren't bartenders or bouncers or the owner, they're "staff," for RP, sometimes "paid RP," with ERP delineated seperately among the staff. So there are "pro RPers," not ERPers, on the clock and... like... does that not feel weird to anyone else? Like what if you hit it off and connect and make a new friend... and then the time runs out, the bar closes and... like... "see you next week, I'm off the clock now." Is that... like... a thing? That doesn't feel deflating to people? How does anyone connect when half the people conversing are... on the clock? I'm so afraid to get overly attached to people at venues. The venues I like, but the people... they're "staff." That has my guard up considerably.

Like I feel there's this underlying "don't try to befriend or pester the staff on their own time, they'll be back next week," so I'm very arms length because I mean, I want to respect that, but that also feels... hollow?

Can someone illuminate how this... fits? Like is there a detail I'm missing? I don't mean to knock anyone who buys these services, but I mean... as someone who has no intention of "renting temporary friends," should I just... not talk to people that are on the clock as "hosts?"

Please, be gentle, it's my first time... but please make it make sense. This is just a wholly new phenomenon to me, and either I misunderstand it completely or it feels... hollow to me.

Again, I am *NOT* talking about ERP services. If the truth I'm not getting is that "that's what hosts are, even the ones that say they're not into ERP," I mean, ok, but that's not very intuitive, or even honest. But assuming that the socializing "staff" that "aren't into ERP" are being honest... I don't get it. And it makes me afraid to do the very thing I seek these things out for: to meet people and make friends, like actual friends, not rented ones that I need to give courteous "professional distance" to between venue openings. Like, full disclosure, this thread is motivated by legit bad feelings coming out of my character potentially making a new friend this evening... until closing time.

Thanks for any and all helpful replies. I know that was a bit meandering but this is a really sensitive topic and I hope the discussion can reflect that.

If you're a host, should I just not expect any meaningful connection with you? Are we all just marks/customers? Seriously, I don't mean that negatively, I'm legitimately asking to set expectations and to understand and respect this thing you do! I've literally never encountered a thing like this, or a dynamic like it in RP or real life. Waiters/Servers/Bartenders I get. Sex workers are a concept I understand from a distance. This "host" thing... I don't get it.

Thank you for reading!