Tips for seamlessly entering FFXIV's player-made "nightlife?"

[Omedon]

The player-generated social beehive in FFXIV is a fascinating thing involving a lot of hard work, passion and effort. It is also a thing that I've been observing from a distance for some time due to some of the unintuitive "unwrittens" that have colored my experiences in other elements of the game. I don't want to dwell on that, except with how it applies to the topic at hand.

On topic: I have followed friends to venues before, but it was an arms' length thing, literally following someone else's lead. Any time you leave the game's main thoroughfare as presented by the devs themselves, you risk stepping on toes that the game didn't put there, and my observations of "venues" and such have felt like I was missing a lot of those "unwrittens."

My go-to example, based on an actual moment I lived through, is the idea of vendors at these venues. I felt very out of place and out of my element at a club I once attended, where "drinks at the bar" were advertised. I asked my friend I was following to the venue if we could just RP the buying and consuming of drinks in party channel emotes between the two of us, and the response I got felt very "awww let's be easy on the new guy" and while we did work within my comfort zone, I felt like I broke an unwritten rule, and I haven't gone back since. Everyone seemed too busy, ingrained and knowledgeable to ask "um, how do I buy a drink," and that very vibe encapsulates the tentativeness of this thread. It's potentially ridiculous to ask "how do I club," but I mean... these are institutions of social judgment and players' "house rules." I'm not a shut-in, I know how to talk to people, but as my "buy a drink" moment illustrated, there's a less intuitive layer of "the right thing to say" that I obviously don't know.

Springboarding off that little anecdote, I turn to the question at hand: What are the common points of perhaps less intuitive etiquette for one interested in checking out a venue, or other player-run event? If you could put up, I don't know... like maybe a billboard, to tell people "please know this before you try to actively socialize in FFXIV's nightclubs," what would be on this entirely metaphorical billboard?

I'd ask if I'm overthinking it, but like... it wasn't clear how to buy a drink, and asking to just keep it in party emotes felt awkwardly received. Things in that vein are not as intuitive as maybe you have taken for granted! Pretend I'm... not 12, that's underage, but pretend someone is new and looking to pick a corner of a hotspot to people watch and schmooze! Do we tip staff? What's the price range? Are there terms we should know like in every other element of an MMORPG? I'm not talking obvious "don't be a creep" stuff, I know all that (but if you wanna stress that for general visibility, go ahead!), I mean the less intuitive stuff, more logistical stuff.

...Or is this haze of "unwrittens" intended to "filter?" After all, social fronts are potentially competitive warfronts too. If so, I guess that's fair (no one has a right to attend these functions after all), but I feel it's fair to ask if that's the case, you know? Like no one is entitled to social acceptance, and I'm not asking for that to change, but I would just to not make a fool out of myself, or kill the vibe for others, and just to feel more comfortable stepping in the door.

I will appreciate any and all helpful replies. I'd ask you to be gentle for my sake and others, but we're beyond the things guaranteed by one's subscription, so I don't really have the right to ask that... but the implied desire for civility is there.

Thank you for reading!

[Lunalepsy]

I feel all these venues are just social fillers. I never leave Ul'dah, and I still make tons of friends and talk to random people every day. When people ask me, "Why don't you go to venues?" I simply reply, "Why? There's no need since I get my social fill here."

[kevin_satron]

I feel all these venues are just social fillers. I never leave Ul'dah, and I still make tons of friends and talk to random people every day. When people ask me, "Why don't you go to venues?" I simply reply, "Why? There's no need since I get my social fill here."

"balmung"

ofc you never leave ul'dah, lol

[Lunalepsy]

"balmung"

ofc you never leave ul'dah, lol

Do you doubt my cunning? o3o

[Omedon]

I feel all these venues are just social fillers. I never leave Ul'dah, and I still make tons of friends and talk to random people every day. When people ask me, "Why don't you go to venues?" I simply reply, "Why? There's no need since I get my social fill here."

That is of course valid, but I don't want to downplay the good time people seem to have attending these events that people legitimately put a lot of time and effort into! I too have lately had a lot of fun hanging around performing bards in town, it's even inspired me to try it myself, and yet that's also what's making me side-eye venues and events, as I slooowly embrace the fact that there's a whole world (many of them even) of hopping places out there!

[Aelin_Ashryver]

I don't really roleplay and when I do go to a club and they have a bartender I just ask for a random drink and it works, venue people are generally nice and will go along with you. Think you overthink things, just try something and if it works cool and if the venue or people have an issue they will send you a tell. Like the tells you get to hide a minion, or the tells I get to come back down when I go into a VIP only area >.>

[NekoMataMata]

I don't really roleplay and when I do go to a club and they have a bartender I just ask for a random drink and it works, venue people are generally nice and will go along with you. Think you overthink things, just try something and if it works cool and if the venue or people have an issue they will send you a tell. Like the tells you get to hide a minion, or the tells I get to come back down when I go into a VIP only area >.>

This is probably the best idea. If you're looking to get into overworld rp in venues then going to the bar area or any other area that has staff doing anything is your only choice.

Most other areas are just filled with people either afking or talking in private.

[Lunalepsy]

That is of course valid, but I don't want to downplay the good time people seem to have attending these events that people legitimately put a lot of time and effort into! I too have lately had a lot of fun hanging around performing bards in town, it's even inspired me to try it myself, and yet that's also what's making me side-eye venues and events, as I slooowly embrace the fact that there's a whole world (many of them even) of hopping places out there!

To each their own. I don't need to RP/pretend to engage with people, socialize, and have a good time. It feels like an excuse or an extra layer for social interactions, but if that works for some people, that is great!

[Geryth]

...Or is this haze of "unwrittens" intended to "filter?" After all, social fronts are potentially competitive warfronts too.

Okay you were already overthinking this but here you're way overthinking. I highly doubt there's some kind of super secret "here's how you gotta act to be in the cool club and if you have to ask, you're out" kind of deal.

Just go with the flow, observe, and use your common sense to fit in. You're unlikely to step out of line but if you do someone will surely politely correct you. Don't worry about it.

[Lilpoundcake]

i goto the clubs nightly for full immersion check out the stream theres some good dj's out there esp on crystal DC