She may let her guard down with Runar, but it really isn't clear whether her motivation to return to the First is to see Runar or to prove that she can complete what some think is impossible.It wasn't mean to grow her character now, it was meant to be a glimpse into her past.
Also, Y'Shtola doesn't show emotions, that is one of her traits. She is all about learning everything, the exception being with Runar, where it is shown she does let her guard down. However, this is then going to be used as a driving force for her to find a way back to the First and you can guarantee the portal they find in 6.1 is going to be of particular interest to her. She wants to know how the portal was formed and how it works so that she could potentially replicate it herself, not only for the expanded knowledge, but it is also a chance for her to reunite with Runar. Her determination to know more even overpowers her embarrassment which goes to show just how much she wants to learn more about this portal.
Her emotions are not on full display at all times, however, her actions certainly show what emotions she is feeling behind her stern nature.
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