I'll never quite understand the train of thought that by adding in a parser, SE would somehow automatically be removing their exceptionally hard stance towards abusive behaviour of any sort in chat.

SE could readily add an ingame feature with a very specific warning not to abuse it and use it as means to attack other players with a clear line in the sand given by GMs as to what is and isn't acceptable. Sure, you might see the occasional person being toxic with it at first but then if they promptly eat a ban for it, aren't we all winning in the long term? If swinging around numbers is treated in the same manner as it is right now, it's certainly not going to get worse.