Warning for "Grief" Tactics?!

[Erik501]

I can see how a thread like this has extended to 30 pages already. Lots of posts heavily emotionally loaded which will take us nowhere as usual. Look, I will take no sides here, it's none of my business anyway, but since I can see how much distress it has caused you I want to help you figure out the reason why you received a warning.

Since SE will not give you any further details, I believe you and you alone can get to the reason for the warning if you take a more analytic approach and set your personal emotions aside while you do that. Nobody else can do it for you, certainly nobody in this forum, but in order to do so, however, you must first acknowledge that things might not go your way, that you might indeed have done something "wrong", quotations needed because that means "wrong" according to the TOS, whether you agree or not, because we are not discussing morality biases in an analytic approach. Otherwise anything you do or say is naught but a mere exercise of futility.

First of all, there are two hypothesis I can think of:

1. The warning was delivered as a consequence of one single report.
2. The warning was delivered as a consequence of a number of reports about a specific behaviour which happened repeatedly in a certain amount of time.

Since you can't think of any singular time when things were so bad to warrant not only a person reporting you, but a GM actually delivering a warning to you I believe we can discard hypothesis 1. You would actually remember had it been so bad.

That leaves us with hypothesis 2. The only way to figure out is to read the TOS entirely and see if you can find parts of your general behaviour within the game that might conflict with its word or its spirit. If the result is not zero, or none, then there you have your answer.

From there it is up to you if you want to change your ways or not, but at least you will be properly informed this time about what might happen should you decide not to change anything because remember, whether you agree with the TOS or not is completely irrelevant, you accepted it the moment you started to play the game.

[Driavna]

Being unpleasent to be around and not be willing to compromise his way of doing things don't make Churro a bad person. We can't know good or bad of a person he is. In any case Churro is reaping the rewards of his own behaviour so there is no point trying to sink him even more. Block/Ignore and keep going with your life is an option and IMO is also the right thing to do.

But hey, I'm the first to understand that it's extremely satisfying sitting on top of in my ivory tower and passing judgment on others while sniffing my on farts, like the good person I truly am!

Churro, as someone that almost quit FFXIV during Eureka due people leeching like champs (afk doing nothing while others spawned NM) I will repeat the word of wisdom someone told me: "stop being a controlling pick and chill, is just a freaking video game." Accept that when queuing with a random party results will be random too. Assuming the worst case scenario is going to make things worst for yourself, more often than not players failing are not doing it on purpose and are really trying. IMO just focus on meeting others in-game to do content with and have a better time.

Anyway, just my point of view. At the end of the day you are going to have to figure it out yourself.

[SturmChurro]

...

The result is zero to none. I am uncompromising in my innocence. People seem to have these preconceived notions of how I "should" be playing the game, so they automatically assume I am guilty - which I find amusing. The ToS extends protections for a player's enjoyment, yet my own enjoyment matters little. Maybe I will just start playing my RDM more often again, because, apparently, as a healer, I am supposed to heal badly, and coddle players.. Oh wait! As an RDM, players (healers included) will demand I raise half the group when they die! Shouldn't the healer be hardcast raising those who die instead? You can't win!

...

I deal with crippling depression and OCD. Most of my time in FFXIV is spent locked inside my player house, with the afk status. I do the occasional roulette, and weekly raid, and don't do anything else. Occasionally I make a glamour and take screenshots and post them here. I am not going out of my way to "grief" players. It's ridiculous to think about.

[Erik501]

The result is zero to none. I am uncompromising in my innocence.

Ok, the warning was a mistake then.

People seem to have these preconceived notions of how I "should" be playing the game, so they automatically assume I am guilty - which I find amusing.

Errrr, ok I guess? I don't care though, what preconceived notions people have were not part of the analytic approach I suggested, neither what they assume nor what you find amusing...

The ToS extends protections for a player's enjoyment, yet my own enjoyment matters little. Maybe I will just start playing my RDM more often again, because, apparently, as a healer, I am supposed to heal badly, and coddle players.. Oh wait! As an RDM, players (healers included) will demand I raise half the group when they die! Shouldn't the healer be hardcast raising those who die instead? You can't win!

Wait, didn't you just say that "The result is zero to none"? Was it not then? I guess it wasn't. It seems to me that you actually know perfectly well where your behaviour clashes with the TOS, you just can't get over it.

Look, don't get mad at me, I was genuinely trying to help you, still trying actually, nothing else. I have no ill feeling about you nor anybody else here. It's just that, when reality hits, and sometimes it hits very hard, the best you can do is take note, learn from it and move on. Rationalizing or venting only helps to get more anxious and frustrated. You say that you don't know why you got a warning but at the same time it seems that you know very well that the way you behave in group content as a healer is what got you warned. You don't have to like it, I am sure you don't, but you can't bend reality to your liking, it just is what it is. No amount of rationalizing or venting is going to change anything. You can use the experience to learn from it or not, again, your call.

[Driavna]

...

Don't take this what I'm about to say as "I'm on your side", but for what it's worth I believe you and I don't consider you a bad person. I still stand for what I said here and at other topics. Still, I don't think you, or anyone really, should lose the ability to play FFXIV for what we think got you a warning. However, FFXIV ToS works in a certain way so you either adapt or you know what can happen long term.

I still remember your top tier male viera art work and I know when you want you can be funny and probably a pleasant person to be around, and yet, of late the vibe I get from you is pure assholery so I hope whatever is going on improves.

[VirusOnline]

i respects

As someone who has OCD and spiraled to the breaking point in the past half year - get. help. now. A psych, a therapist to start. You need to process quite a lot, and you should not do it here where the 1% of people come to meme

i often say there are worse things in life
the breaking point is that worse thing

[Padudu]

snip

Firstly, I'm going to say that I don't think you're a bad person either -- I'm not a forum regular or anything like that and we all have our times when we're pleasant and not so pleasant. I think calling you a bad person was a bit much IMO, it was unnecessary and rather an emotional dig at you, not that we've been the most rational in this thread clearly lel. I think everyone has gone for the "OP you need to look inwards" like every 10 posts in, how much more do we need?

I'm sorry you're struggling rn, while I can't begin to understand all that pain, I do have anxiety/depression as well and can at least relate a little on that front. I also think that while yeah some of your behavior on this thread specifically has been rather provocative, people shouldn't be provoking you for a report, that's just weird.

My question to you, and obviously you do not have to answer, is if you reach out to professional services at all? I know it's easier said than done esp considering if you're American, but there are free resources out there that you can utilize.

I only ask because if you want people to respond more empathetically I'd just consider talking to someone more equipped to handle emotions than the cringelords of the forum. While I understand it's an outlet for you, the tone of your posts (at least here, idk how you act elsewhere) will just make the majority of the people respond with callousness, snark, and whatever else right back and just make the problem worse.

FWIW, a warning is a warning. I don't think you deserve to get your account banned, on the game or on the forums.

[Misutoraru]

it's really concerning to me that the vast majority of posters on OF think healers should just be a rez/cure3 spamming role

It is our job to heal and revive people.

of cause there are situation where we have to prioritised other duty, like if I know there will be raidwide dmg coming soon, we should ready to heal over hard cast a revive.

Or when we are low on MP because of too many revive and we should converse our MP for healing the tank, only revive when the situation allowed

However, healing and reviving should always be our priority whenever situation allowed