Question about tanking

[Undeadfire]

while making a deliberate effort to avoid grabbing or stealing aggro.

There's nothing to grab/steal aggro from, tank enmity doesn't exist anymore than another tank enmity.

Don't make the tanks job harder by grabbing or pulling additional aggro, and expect them to chase you around to get it back.

This can be very sceptical and honestly no reason not to one pack pull.

Personally, I think there's a lack of consequence and accountability in the game, and it's led to some rather toxic encounters.
If you pull and are not the tank, expect to die.

This isn't consequence, this is tanks always trying to be in control of the Duty. DPS/Healer roles can carry the duty, and I will vote kick anyone who tries this "you pull you tank" rubbish, it's griefing. There are very incompetent tanks that want to make a team miserable solely for their own enjoyment, this isn't a game based on play styles, it's the correct way or get out. That's like going to FPS games and refusing power weapons, or use a certain terrible weapon because it's my playstyle.

As a tank, my first pull is generally going to be moderate. To get a feel for the Healer capacity, as much as anything. After that, I pull as many as I'm comfortable with.
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This game has grown over time with more tools to keep Tanks/Healers alive, easier, and easier, stop enabling this nonsense, most of the community hate this crap, and rather boot them out.

Long way of saying:
YOU as the Tank set the pace according to your comfort level

No, they don't. It's a team effort, you're not I'm the tank and I'm in charge of the duty, don't be hypocritical.

Healer attentiveness and ability to keep up with damage

To keep up with DPS, not stand around Heal spamming, O-GCDs easily jack HP back up, GCDs are 2-3x more weaker.

All in all, stop enabling this incompetence at level 70-90 cap content. As I say again a lot of people will boot these players because of their favourite griefing quote "you pull you tank", and people certainly don't have time to sit in dungeons for 30-40 mins just to enable players who can't be bothered to play, and rather watch their Netflix/Twitch Livestreams. Easily replaceable the player, and get the content cleared far faster than dealing with them.