FFXIV Jokes

[NyneAlexander]

Taken from reddit:

"A dragoon walks into a bar. Everyone else dodged it"


hahahahahaha i'm dead

[Aeonblade]

What's the best gift to give your girlfriend once a month?

A Choco - bo!





Yea that's all I've got, you put me on the spot

[Surian]

A depressed young Miqo'te was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.

When she went down to the docks in Limsa, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said,

"Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Ul'dah in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship."

Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The Miqo'te looked down the docks for a moment in doubt, but then nodded yes.' After all, what did she have to lose?

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a life-boat.

From then on, every night he brought her three miq'abobs and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain.

"What are you doing here?" the Captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," the Miqo'te explained. "He's taking me to Ul'dah, and he's screwing me."

"He sure is, lady... This is the Ferry to Aleport!"

[Surian]

A well dressed Elezen in gold colored armor enters an up-class establishment in Ul'dah, sits down on one of the seats and orders four very expensive drinks.

A cute Miqo'te walks over and serves them on a silver tray, setting all four in front of the patron. The Elezen then consumes all four drinks in a matter of seconds.

The Miqo'te comments, "Wow, you sure must have a problem."

"Lady, if you had what I had," the Elezen replies, "you'd drink them fast, too."

Leaning over, the sympathetic Miqo'te waitress asks, "What do you have, sir?".

"Fifty gil".

[LillithCale]

Yo mama Saffat, that Bahamut looked at her and went 'DAAAAAYUM'.

[Mcshiggs]

How many CT tanks does it take to change a lightbulb?
They can't, most just stand there waiting for someone else to do it, the ones that do try end up turning it the wrong way.

[Yumi_umi]

Why is lim the home of Roes?
Because no one else will roe roe roe your boat when you take the ferry!
Gwahahahahaha lol

[Spy]

Q: What do you call a chubby lalafell?
A: Low fat.

Q: What gesture does a lalafell use to say hello?
A: A microwave!

Q: Why are lalafell such nice players?
A: Because they don't look down on people!

totally stolen, but I thought they were cute ;p

[Mcshiggs]

Why do Mexican players call Lalfells paragraphs?
Because they are too short to be essays.

[Darksword]

Why do Paladins make bad secret agents?

Because they always blow their Cover when things get dicey. *badum-tiss!*


Why don't Summoners ever get invited to good parties?

Because people think they Ruin everything. *badum-tiss!*


Why did the Sahagin cross the waves?

To get to the other tide. *badum-tiss!*


Why can BLMs cross-class Physick but not Cure?

Because the White Mage is always trying to keep da Black Mage down! *badum-tiss!*


Why don't women want WARs in the bedroom?

Because they run out of TP doing foreplay and their Inner Beast only lasts six seconds. *badum-tiss!*


Why couldn't the WHM use AOE heals after the tank died once?

His Medica License was revoked for malpractice! *badum-tiss!*