If the circumstances were exactly the same, then I'd be sympathetic towards Venat in such a scenario.
I think that's pretty disingenuous and a rather strange assumption to make about someone you do not know. From what I recall, it isn't the first time you've implied it either - so I'm genuinely curious as to what drives such defamatory comments. If you want to know who my favourite female characters are, then you only need to ask.
Venat's gender isn't a factor as to why I dislike her. I do find the 'mOmMy GoDdEsS' thing to be a little creepy, though I'd say the same thing if - as you proposed - Elidibus was switched with Venat and it became 'dADdY goD' instead. I don't root for characters based purely on their appearance or gender.
Disagreeing with a character, who just so happens to be a woman, is not sexism. I didn't find her reasons for doing what she did to be realistic or compelling, given that she deliberately withheld key information from her people and judged them on the basis of not responding in the way she desired when the Ancients themselves had no possible way to know what, exactly, she was judging them for.
My stance has long been that it makes sense for the Sundered to do everything possible in order to survive and that expecting them to just roll over and die for the sake of the Unsundered is not a fair expectation.
With the caveat that the reverse is true as well. The Unsundered can't reasonably be expected to just roll over and die for the sake of the Sundered when such an abhorrent atrocity was inflicted upon their civilisation.
To say nothing of the simple fact that it is Venat, herself, who is ultimately responsible for the Rejoinings by willingly allowing the three Unsundered to escape the Sundering. At the time, she was possessed of the knowledge of what they would do and even stood to benefit from the Rejoinings herself on some level as it factored into her 'grand plan'. As such, it is at the feet of Hermes and Venat where I lay most of the blame as they're ultimately the duo responsible for most of the more abhorrent events in the story to date.

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