FFXIV Girls only discord server

[Aelsioln]

I joined an "all girls" guild on another game and their verification process was simply to ask if you identified as a girl. Not in voice chat, just a written question wherever you happened to contact them (forums, Discord, in game, etc). That was it.

Were there men in the group pretending to be women? Maybe. The moderators understood though that making sure no one was harassed or taken advantage of was more important. As long as you followed the rules no one worried about who might have lied to get invited in. That group was truly free from judgement because no one was told their voice was too deep, that they didn't look feminine enough in a photo, or that they used improper pronouns. We were all queens.

From what I've seen on this thread sounds like this group could learn a thing or two from them.

[Theox]

Because I choose not to go. If women don't want to be seen naked by men I can respect that. However, telling me that I can't enter a social place simply because of my gender rather than being judged by my actions is the definition of sexism.

Okay, so if you ever decide to enter a women's bathroom we should check your social score and base our decision on your actions. Or should we do a poll? Like what does it even mean "being judged by my actions"? Who are you? Nobody's judging you by your actions lol. This isn't a medal for a war veteran we're talking about here. Wake the f' up and stop being salty. The most creepy thing in this thread is a seething man crying because some women didn't allow him in their place. Please leave them alone lol

[Doozer]

What I am not okay with is the blatant sexism against men.

Judge people by their actions, not their gender.

I am about to judge this man based on his actions and he's not gonna like it.

[Scryar]

I really don't care about private discord servers but sexist and discriminatory ones shouldn't be advertised here.

[Sinavie]

That discord server honestly reeks of 30 - 45 year old miserable and alone women that just want to make some weird “girls only” club. Arent you guys too old to be doing that?

I don't think any generalization should specifically be attributed to any particular age group or even sex. All around, people are people.

[BluexBird]

Guys, I'm just gonna come out and say it - this whole "women-only" thing doesn't work on the internet. There are too many trolls who will make it impossible for this to EVER work. Cancel culture has made sure of that. It takes zero effort to pretend you're a woman, and then attack people for refusing to play along. The fact that people are going after this server so vehemently is proof of this. It doesn't matter if the people they turned down were "actually trans people".

Now, having said that, there is one approach you could have taken that would have been A LOT better. Your mistake was trying to create a place like this and make it "public".

The best you could have hoped for is a closed server in which the people inside vouch for outsiders, and are held responsible for the people they invite. The beauty about this system is that, once you do it like this, you will realize that you don't need to gender-lock things in order to have a "safe space". But even if you DID want to gender-lock, you can trust the people already in there are women, and that they would only invite other women.

I've been in all sorts of Discord servers before. I've seen extremely good servers go to shit because the owners decided they wanted to grow, and started posting invite links everywhere. I'm here to tell you you can't have it both ways.

Also, it's not sexual discrimination if women want to have their own space and not deal with men.

[Serenitey]

A girl - but what is the point of girls only? Seriously not being rude just honestly wonder? Is it just sexist or is there more to it? Was it some issues someone had to feel safe? Not a councilor (shocking right) but I know one that said some with various issues seek safe places. Could that maybe be it? If it is just gender issues or elitism its wrong, if someone has some real issues though that is a different matter and should be ok because some have a need to feel safe. Just trying to see things from all angles.

[Merrigan]

Personally like the sound of an all female gaming space. To those saying women judge too sure that is true. But you sound very much like someone who does not understand the desire to want a space away from men, this can be for many reasons be it as severe as abuse or simply wanting to enjoy female company without as many worries. And same for people not understanding the verification, there is no shortage of creepy men who try and enter women's spaces. I had plenty dude's pretend to be female as means to try and get closer to me or other girls.
Some of the conversations I have listened to men having just makes me uncomfortable how easily they will compare women like bits of meat and speak about us like nothing more than animals meant for a quick shag and to be mocked after the fact. Other men will simply not take no for an answer and you end up with a stalker. It happens so often that a break from being in a shared space of men can be desirable at times. Doesn't mean I dislike all men, sometimes I just enjoy the company of other women without worrying about men's comments or actions.

Issues in this discord aside, the idea is a nice one and I hope that the owner and mods can fix the security concerns.

So... react?

Instead of moping around, and retreating into your own "safe space": speak up. Point out to men who disrespect women that they are acting like horny teenagers. Educate your friends around you, to give more support to these demands.

By deserting community spaces, you are letting those who wish you weren't there win.

So much for the little activist rant (which is still sincere, though).

But in concrete terms: beware of the ambient paranoia. Do harassment and dirty jokes exist on MMORPGs? Of course it does. Are they omnipresent? I don't think so. Be careful not to do like those people who had ONE toxic experience in a dungeon, and conclude that the whole community is to blame.

[Xrystofer]

The most creepy thing in this thread is a seething man crying because some women didn't allow him in their place. Please leave them alone lol

Maybe you didn't get the memo. I have no intention or interest of entering a sexist discord and socialize with sexists, even if I was allowed. You are simply attempting to mischaracterize me to promote your agenda.

Make an actual attempt to steelman what I am saying rather than creating a strawman to attack it. Furthermore, women are strong and independant. They don't need white knights and simps to defend them. They can defend themselves on the internet.


Have a nice day.

[Doozer]

So... react?

Instead of moping around, and retreating into your own "safe space": speak up. Point out to men who disrespect women that they are acting like horny teenagers. Educate your friends around you, to give more support to these demands.

By deserting community spaces, you are letting those who wish you weren't there win.

So much for the little activist rant (which is still sincere, though).

But in concrete terms: beware of the ambient paranoia. Do harassment and dirty jokes exist on MMORPGs? Of course it does. Are they omnipresent? I don't think so. Be careful not to do like those people who had ONE toxic experience in a dungeon, and conclude that the whole community is to blame.

And although it seems to be a taboo, "crabs in a bucket" situation, if someone harasses you based on your gender in-game, report them. It's among the prohibited activities. If you see discriminatory behavior, take action against it. It helps everyone, not just yourself.