FFXIV Girls only discord server

[Valkyrie_Lenneth]

Why do you need someone to break down a million reasons why they don't want to be around someone else? I don't care about this server, at this point it's irrelevant despite the argument going on. What I take issue with is why so many of you have so much vitriol toward women who want to be around other women but DON'T have that same vitriol toward men who want to be around men. This is what I need you to ask yourself. "Why do women expressing a boundary set me off, but men don't?" The most common answer is, "Well, I EXPECT men to be "jerks", but not women" Which is extremely misogynistic, because it implies that you expect all women to be docile and roll over to your wishes and not men. and so when you see ones that don't, it enrages you. You meaning anyone who thinks like this of course.

If there's another explanation you can let us know, but for now it's looking a bit grim. It's looking a bit predictable, I'll have to admit. Because again, no one cared about the boys club. Which is how it always is. We hear about a boys club and we laugh, we roll our eyes, we even think 'good!' or expect it-but we hear a girls club and it needs to be dissected and destroyed immediately whether the person in front of it is problematic or not. We hear about a girls club and the forefront of your thoughts is that it must be inherently evil or somehow attacking someone merely by existing. It's negative, it's exclusionary, it's anti men because all men are this or that!! Surely it can't just be for giggling amongst each other. Clearly something for women is absolutely still about men, right. It's just a little predictable is all I'm saying, but if your viewpoint is different that's be genuinely surprising. Set your feelings about this current messy server aside and think about why in general it ticks you off so bad when it comes to one gender, but not the other. Tell me why boys clubs don't give you this same reaction.

No one cares about the boys club thread because it was started by a troll.

Boys clubs are stupid and no one past age 5 takes them seriously.

From what I can tell in this thread, you have 1 group who is super upset about it being "girls" only, one group upset about the definition of girls, and one who is upset about the methods being used in said Discord.

These should not be viewed the same.


I now return to lurking

[MaxCarnage]

Clearly something for women is absolutely still about men, right. It's just a little predictable is all I'm saying, but if your viewpoint is different that's be genuinely surprising. Set your feelings about this current messy server aside and think about why in general it ticks you off so bad when it comes to one gender, but not the other. Tell me why boys clubs don't give you this same reaction.

I mean, the "bro's server" thread is completely satire. This one, on the other hand is serious.

You say "people make a female discord about men even when it's not!" But it is. They made it about men just in the discription. They made a female-only "safe space". Do you know how it was a "safe space"? Because no men allowed. In their own claims, the fact that there was no men in the server somehow made it safe. That is making it about about men. They brought males into the equation, not us.

The concept of a gender-specific server in and of itself seems silly to me. But you do you. It's when you are claiming that in excluding a group of people that your community becomes a "safe haven" that I take issue with.

This is coming from a woman, by the way. Since gender seems to matter so much to you.

[Clover_Blake]

What I take issue with is why so many of you have so much vitriol toward women who want to be around other women but DON'T have that same vitriol toward men who want to be around men.

If there's another explanation you can let us know, but for now it's looking a bit grim.

Since you were replying to me, I'm going to quote myself here before you twist the matter further:

Ah, for the record, I don't have any issue with people wanting to make specific groups either. In fact, I understand the feeling of wanting to be with people who are like-minded. My problem was the way it was advertised, for it was less about wanting like-minded people and more about making a point of how "unsafe" men are.

(My standing is clear and I have nothing more to add to the thread!)

[Bahd_Monkey]

I'd like to know what's being done about minors in this "safe space."..... this is concerning to me.

https://twitter.com/Celeste_Orchana/...95290769584129

Wow! That is really sick.

[strawberrycake]

This can never be guaranteed anywhere.
Not gonna name names because tbh I don't memorize all of it and I cba to look it up atm.
But there's some really big '' activist '' woman in the games industry who runs rampant on Twitter and is on the board of some big game dev organisation.
She has a really really long history of being a real piece of shit garbage person but she gets a pass because she has '' the correct politics '' and is extremely vocal about it to an obnoxious level.

A while ago a whole bunch of women came out and talked about how she had been abusing them behind the scenes and been extremely creepy.
The most infuriating thing is that people argued she deserved a second chance and all that even tho it was very recent and her apology was incredibly half-arsed and the victims didn't buy it at all.

It's true that women in the games industry do get abused and harassed and such more often than men, but it's not true that it's not a big problem for men too and it's also definitely not true that it's just men abusing women.
HR in particular has a big overrepresentation of women and HR is very often the enablers at large studios who gaslight and/ or intimidate victims into silence.

Moral of the story is that women are not a bunch of innocent little flowers who would never hurt a fly, women are just as capable of being pieces of shit as men are.
The reason why men are usually more often bad towards women is because of the physical advantage it's dangerous to a womans physical well-being more directly if she does something bad to a man while it generally isn't for a man to do to a woman.
As soon as you start evening out these things and you get more women in power and more women dominated spaces that barrier is removed and the ugly sides come out.




All of that said I do understand women who want a woman only space because of that too, I am big into fighting games for example and I am all for womens only tournaments because a lot of women feel really uncomfortable or even unsafe to attend tournaments.
There's definitely a lot of creepy guys and people fetishizing them.
You can't get rid of that by having a woman only space but you can minimize at least certain aspects of it ( in particular the sexual ones, but then you also get women like in my above example ).

No thats all very true, and I know exactly who you're talking about, but my main point to that person who can Audit the server. is :

I'm very aware of that, but my point is that, this situation has made people uneasy about this server. And this person can get and show proof, and is choosing not to. So how can you help people avoid their fears of this server and possibly being abused?

And I kinda find it sus that they're refusing to simply post proof that they're being lied on. Which to me, shows they're kinda full of it, but thats my personal opinion.

[Blossoming]

No thats all very true, and I know exactly who you're talking about, but my main point to that person who can Audit the server. is :



And I kinda find it sus that they're refusing to simply post proof that they're being lied on. Which to me, shows they're kinda full of it, but thats my personal opinion.

Because there isn’t any, I’ve dealt with people like this before and it’s always the same thing. They will say it’s lies and slander but never provide context of their own to clear it up and instead result to insults like she just did with me.

[ArkenaeuxBelmont]

Because there isn’t any, I’ve dealt with people like this before and it’s always the same thing. They will say it’s lies and slander but never provide context of their own to clear it up and instead result to insults like she just did with me.

Which is fair, though. They then just have to accept the negative public opinion that will be attached to them when they refuse to defend themselves. People are free to evaluate empirical evidence before their eyes and form their own opinions on matters.

They also have to accept that they cannot censor people from discussing it, either. Because it's out there, it's visible, people can see it.

So unless they want to defend their positions on said incidents, it becomes open season in a public forum to, at least in a logical, clear manner, criticize them.

[Anatha]

Definitively not a safe space. Needlessly judgmental, invasive, and zero security, simply aren't qualities that create safe spaces.

They don't even seem to communicate within the leadership, let alone beyond that.

[DezereDawn]

Yikes, cringey TERF BS Discord being advertised on the Forums

[LittlePandemonium]

I support having a girls' club, it's ok to retreat with your own sometimes