Eorzea news

[Enkidoh]

Hmmm... I doubt this news channel is entirelly unbiased and may be presenting an Ascian-centric editorial opinion - one of their reporters was on linkshell screen wearing full Ancient attire.

I don't know... I think they might be untrustworthy.

[BunnyBrat]

I'm not one to kiss and tell but I may or may not be banging Aymeric.

[Rabblerabble]

Good evening Eorzea! Praise the Sultana, glory to Ul'Dah, and may the Twelve be honored! Oddle here, Live from The Beautiful Goblet Residential District in the lovely UNN Weather Garden! Tonight we have details coming in from Maduin about a treasure mapping event! Former UNN Editor-in-Chief Anora Knowles will bring you the latest, but first breaking news on proposed legislation from the Academic Scholar's Society's pre-emptive response council. We've managed to get an interview with Professor Passemerrant of the prestigious A.S.S. Maya, to you.




Thank you, Oddle, I am here live, in Old Sharlayan with Professor Passemerrant! Tell us Professor, what has spurred the Scholar's Society to feel the need to draft a 'pre-emptive' response plan and what is it you seek to pre-empt?

Professor Passemerrant : Yes, ah, thank you Maya. You look, ah, beautiful tonight. Ahem, yes, um, you see, the latest global pandemic, should I say, ah, Black Rose or the recent outpouring of Dynamis, destroyed the lives of countless npc's, and on such a vast scale, all of Eorzea's economy could have been shaken into total collapse, if it weren't for the intervention of myriad non-npc's. But, it seems like, ah, lately, those non-npc's have been absent in droves, something about a new world to adventure in, or being bored and "taking a break". Our proposed plan is to form an emergency council.. I call it, the World Health Organization of Lovely Eorzea - Academic Scholar's Society.

We are currently, ah, devising, ah, plans to more adequately incentivize, ah, non-npc's to do things like .. subscribe to more duty, such as roulettes and FATE grinding. We, ah, seek individuals who can help push this duty through the W.H.O.L.E.-A.S.S. so we can all, ah, relax and flush away all this anxiety, about, ah, the next global pandemic.

Maya : I see professor, do you have any concerns, or fears about such an organization?

Professor Passemerrant: Well, ah, I most certainly do, Maya. Ah, we certainly want members who can, ah, stick together and help pass this enormous, ah, duty through the W.H.O.L.E.A.S.S., they need slick tongues, to help squeeze out plans without causing gaping cracks within the emerging organization.

Maya : Ahahaha, thanks professor, does your colleague have anything to share?

Professor : Well, out with it Mauguissant!



Mauguissant : ....

Maya: Well, as you can see Oddle, that wipes up this explosive story. Back to you!



Ah thanks, Maya, I like that W.H.O.L.E.A.S.S. idea and hope they can get that huge duty passed. Now on to more refreshing subjects! Maduin's Anora Knowles has the latest on last night's map party! Tell us about it, Anora!



Hi! Thanks Oddle! Last night The Prisoners O' Treasure held an Eorzean Greedy Warrior Challenge featuring an assortment of map varieties! Lootestants came from far and wide to find their fortunes. Maptestants included T-POT's own Ark Inverse, Icely Blue, Lanya Li, Sascha Jingles and ME! We were also joined by others from across the star, Arteme Fawn, Lena Blue with her cute little chocobo, Buttercup and Xenvire Ashbell! There was so much gil and loot I couldn't keep up with it all, luckily Palico was there to help keep tabs on it! Palico, to you!



Thank mew, Anora! I'm so excited to bring the mews of everyone's exploits to light! In the furst reeound, Xenvire opened strong with a treasure purrtal but he could only get his greedy hands on a bolt of hagnos cloth there. Our next meowpper was Artemew Fawn, and she stole all KINDS of stuff! Victory Fanfare Orchestrion Roll and athletikos cloth among the items! The other meowmbers got their hands on some dichromeowtic dye, a pathmaker orchestrion roll, ribboned parasol, and corduroy felt.. Round 1 earned everyone areeound 118,000 gil each!

Meow, reeound two was a little slower. Lanya started and got herself a hagnos cloth, Anora won the fft..fffft..faces we wear, cat's eye glasses, Ark opened a smaller meowp and got herself a timless turali cloth, Lena looted an everkeep lamppost and dumbbell rack, and Xenvire laid claim to some summerlight linen! Everyone who stayed for the second reound earned reaarrrrroughly 105,242 gil!

And the ff..final reound, Ark stole the Honeysuckler meownion and gave it to Xenvire, Xenvire stole a Mammonite and gave it to Anora, Icely got her paws on some Corduroy and gave her summerlight linen to Lena, Anora greedily snatched up another Mammonite and Arteme used an extra mew..mewww.. map and shared a training mat she looted with Ark. She then stole dichromeowtic dye and a faces we wear professorial glasses glamour! Everyone in that reeound earned about 249,466.

My paws were full carrying your stuff, Anora, so I couldn't keep track of who left and who came or when! Meow! But, for those who stayed the whole time they earned a huge ameownt of gil! Roughly 473k! AMEOWZING! I wish someone I mew would buy me some treats with all that mewney. Back to mew, Anora!



Aaa, I will Palico! Oddle, thanks and back to you!



Thank you for tuning in, everyone, and be sure to stay tuned for our report on just what the Eorzean Greedy Warrior Challenge is and more News, Traffic and Weather information! This has been your UNN Report!