Baffling behavior

[LittleImp]

The most baffling thing here is the people turning out to white-knight on behalf of someone who is engaging in truly toxic behavior. Let's walk through this.

OP enters a party severely under-geared, including wearing equipment which doesn't even scale with his role. This is in a level 69 Dungeon, and OP has a job at 80. It's safe to assume they know better.

Upon wiping, OP takes it upon themselves to offload blame onto the healer.

The party, seeing this toxic behavior, moves to defend the healer and quickly dismisses the OP from the duty.

OP, unable to let the issue go, decides to make a public post on the forums decrying himself the victim and becomes hostile with people who are trying to point out that he was in the wrong.

Offloading blame for your mistakes onto another person is very toxic. Not only are you refusing to accept responsibility for your own oversight or shortcomings, but you're actively harming and gaslighting someone else in the process. You're attacking someone else's self-confidence for the sake of preserving your own, despite being in the wrong.

What exactly is worth defending about this situation?

[MikkoAkure]

Sounds like you skipped over conversation. Min ilv for a duty required was noted as was his death to a single pack of mobs, as was the healer pushing dps when he and others were low health.

Not sure it counts as "pushing DPS" when the OP himself said that he died in 2 seconds in "half a button press". If the OP doesn't have enough time to cast a cooldown before he's tanking the floor, then his healer doesn't have enough time to heal. He paradoxically says that he doesn't have "hyperspeed" in order to react fast enough to prevent damage, while at the same time accusing the healer of not healing him.

Mind you, it wasnt 3 mobs or groups. It was 3 dudes. Not 3 sets of 3 or 4 guys. Just 3. In the span of 2 seconds, my life gets melted, healer was just negligent. Im glad im not crazy and many others here understand that healers can just be bad.

Considering he was able to eventually do it with a different group, it's possible he was exaggerating for effect, but that still doesn't change the fact that his next healer would have had to babysit him through the dungeon with a magical IV bag and unless you're a masochist, that's not exactly fun and engaging healer content.

[Lexis]

Sounds like you skipped over conversation. Min ilv for a duty required was noted as was his death to a single pack of mobs, as was the healer pushing dps when he and others were low health.

Please. Read. The. Previous. Comments.

I have repeated this so many times because people can't be bothered to read it :/ The OP's gear was so low for the duty that their HP would absolutely MELT (by the OP's own admission, this is not me or anyone else making assumptions). They died twice because the only way to keep them alive through single pulls was to pre-cast heals and then spam those green buttons like there's no tomorrow. And, the cherry on the sundae, the OP then lashed out at the HEALER for not having the split second timing to heal their severely undergeared derrière through the entire dungeon. And in case you skipped over that, they were tanking with healing and DPS trinkets, so they only met the Minimum Ilvl by cheating the system with gear that contributes very little towards their tanking stats.

If you acknowledge and understand all of the above and still believe OP was in the right and the healer was at fault, then let's just say we don't agree on what constitutes proper dungeon etiquette and leave it at that.

[Drkdays]

I said no problem. its okay. how do we get to the next batch and still die?

Please. Read. The. Previous. Comments.

Healer fell asleep that second pull, did he?

These double standards kill me.

"Healers just want to heal! I wish all I had to do was heal, but the game won't let me! Game doesn't give heals anything to do! Even low level dungeons are nothing but downtime. They must think all healers are knuckleheads! We dps 90% of every pull!"

*Tank dies*

"He had the item level but his trinkets were wrong. It wasn't the healer's fault. He shoulda pulled more. He shoulda pulled less. He didn't use rampart, of course he died every pull. He should have discussed how he was going to tank. Healer are supposed to dps, brah! If the tank was too weak to allow healers to dps then the tank is bad!"

Conclusion: Healers can do no wrong in FF14.

[Lexis]

Healer fell asleep that second pull?

These double standards kill me.

"Healers just want to heal! Game doesn't give heals anything to do! Even low level dungeons are nothing but downtime. They must think all healers are knuckleheads! We dps 90% of every pull!"

*Tank dies*

"He had the item level but his trinkets were wrong. It wasn't the healer's fault. He should pulled more. he shoulda pulled less. He didn't use rampart, of course he died every pull."

Conclusion: Healer can do no wrong in FF14.

/facepalm.

I tried. You're not even reading the few sentences I typed out. I give up. Believe what you will. :/

[Drkdays]

/facepalm.

I tried. You're not even reading the few sentences I typed out. I give up. Believe what you will. :/

Yes I did. I'm not illiterate, I just think you're wrong. From everything I've read, the healer dropped the ball and blamed the tank. Tank blaming is way easier than healer blaming because the tank already has so much responsibility. If the tank dies, he was too weak, or he pulled badly, or he didn't use C/Ds, or he failed mechanics, etc... it could never be the healer's fault, right? Healer couldn't have known to use shields, or hots, or aoe stun, or even rescue. It was just the tank's failure.

For the first death, sure, a simple mistake. They all ran ahead and the tank floundered. Np, just as he said. It happens. But that second death? When the healer has had a chance to view gear, and plan ahead at least a bit, and he still died?

C'mon now. Even the wrong accessories have vitality on them.

[KageTokage]

The issue was twofold; you had a group expecting big pulls from a tank that was severely undergeared.

I can't say they're unjustified in wanting the tank gone because it is not fun to heal instances when you have a tank who needs to be constantly spammed with heals even during single pulls and risks being one-shot by tank busters if they're not keeping mitigation up. At the same time, though, it's not good to assume that any tank you encounter is going to default to wall to wall pulls.

It really just speaks for how horribly flawed the ilvl system is and they should be using some kind of stat weighting system instead to keep people from cheesing ilvl requirements by only upgrading the right side slots.

[Lexis]

Yes I did. I'm not illiterate, I just think you're wrong. From everything I've read, the healer dropped the ball and blamed the tank. Tank blaming is way easier than healer blaming because the tank already has so much responsibility. If the tank dies, he was too weak, or he pulled badly, or he didn't use C/Ds, or he failed mechanics, etc... it could never be the healer's fault, right? Healer couldn't have known to use shields, or hots, or aoe stun, or even rescue. It was just the tank's failure.

For the first death, sure, a simple mistake. They all ran ahead and the tank floundered. Np, just as he said, but that second death? When the healer has had a chance to view gear, and plan ahead at least a bit, and he still died?

C'mon now. Even the wrong accessories have vitality on them.

Except, from the OP'S OWN ACCOUNT, they died in 2 seconds (I'm personally inclined to believed it was more like 4-5). The tank also didn't pop any mitigation going into the pull, knowing full well how quickly they would die as they had previously witnessed in the initial snafu of miscommunication. And after all that, instead of apologizing for being Severely Undergeared for the content they just queued for and knowingly making everyone miserable in doing so, they went ahead and berated the healer for 'not healing'.

Yes, the healer could have pre-cast healing and spammed cure II (or the AST/SCH equivalent) instead of trying to sneak in a DPS spell, but at this point it's glaringly obvious that the primary issue here is the tank. Why does it fall on the healer to not only pick up his slack but also deal with the condescending remarks? This is where 'dungeon etiquette' comes in: Don't make people carry you and especially don't throw a fit when they decline to do so.

[Nyxs]

How about you stop blaming the healer for your laziness? Get appropriate gear and do your job instead of making strangers carry you. You cheesed yourself in then got angry at others. As as healer main,if I saw that you would of been kicked right away. I ain't doing triple the work while you make us suffer.

[Seera1024]

Yes I did. I'm not illiterate, I just think you're wrong. From everything I've read, the healer dropped the ball and blamed the tank. Tank blaming is way easier than healer blaming because the tank already has so much responsibility. If the tank dies, he was too weak, or he pulled badly, or he didn't use C/Ds, or he failed mechanics, etc... it could never be the healer's fault, right? Healer couldn't have known to use shields, or hots, or aoe stun, or even rescue. It was just the tank's failure.

For the first death, sure, a simple mistake. They all ran ahead and the tank floundered. Np, just as he said. It happens. But that second death? When the healer has had a chance to view gear, and plan ahead at least a bit, and he still died?

C'mon now. Even the wrong accessories have vitality on them.

Could it be you know both parties' fault?

The OP was clearly undergeared. That's on the OP for not making sure he was properly geared and if he truly hadn't noticed, should have been more apologetic about it - based on replies, I don't think he was apologetic or taking any responsibility for why things happened the way they did.

The healer should have stuck with the tank like glue after the first wipe if the OP truly was dropping in "2 seconds"

Without having the chat, it's hard to say who has the most fault as attitudes towards things can make someone who wouldn't be as much at fault more at fault by making a mountain out of a molehill.

The fact that the OP hasn't even acknowledged that he was partly to blame for how things went down due to him being under-geared and how he's responded to players pointing that out, leads me to believe that possibly the OP has more blame than the healer in this instance. But everyone has their breaking point and for the OP maybe being kicked was his and he was fine in his replies in game. Without the chat, it's a he said, she said.