"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

[FelicityC]

Domestic violence is a notoriously difficult social problem to deal with.

Not being a naughty little potty mouth in the DF is not even remotely hard to do.

Quite why people are trying to equate them is beyond me to be honest. Talk about comparing apples and oranges.

Very true, the reply to it was just a bad take. Probably best to not pursue that line of discussion

[Izscha]

Very true, the reply to it was just a bad take. Probably best to not pursue that line of discussion

Not a bad take, just show one's true color when it's something they dont care about, was sure i would get an answer like that anyway hence the need to post it, didn't have to wait long tho.

[linayar]

Not a bad take, just show one's true color when it's something they dont care about, was sure i would get an answer like that anyway hence the need to post it, didn't have to wait long tho.

If I don't care about it, I wouldn't even suggest the victim to leave and report the boyfriend. But of course, you just want to see what you expect to see, which perhaps shows your true color.

[linayar]

The victim is never at fault for the willful actions of another person. It's hard to judge a situation and how easy it may be for someone to avoid it when they could potentially be financially restricted or, in general, unable to properly express themselves like that. Not everyone has the same access to authority, and authority doesn't always help the right person. There is a lot of mistrust. It happens all the time.

It's never a victim's fault for the actions of someone else. They are the ones doing it. Roundabout ways to blame the victim do not really track.

We all can agree that the blame ultimately lies with beater, so don't try to twist my words.

But I am saying that there is always something that the victim can do, generally speaking. If you're going to try to stack the circumstances against the victim so that they are unable to ask for help or get themselves away, well, good for you, I suppose. But at that point, I think it's even more irrelevant to compare it to in-game experience.

[elizeugba]

People exaggerate on this subject on both sides, some say everything is perfect and the community is flawless, other people say it is horrible and toxic.

From my experience, the FF community is pretty good for the most part, and what I mean by "pretty good" is as "pretty good" as it gets, after all, we are humans and there are a lot of ppl out there that are just obnoxious. People create unreasonable expectations that go against human nature. What did you expect? a perfect place where you never saw toxicity? that the game somehow transformed the toxic pieces of sh*t into decent people? All SE can do is enforce the TOS on them, and that's all.

Anyone expecting a perfect community (or near-perfect) is just delusional, it is literally impossible to have that in any community as big as FF or any online game.

If you think FF community is bad you never played FPS games and MOBAs.

[Floortank]

People exaggerate on this subject on both sides, some say everything is perfect and the community is flawless,

Literally never seen anyone say this.

Saying the community is good is not saying it is perfect and flawless.

[Lunalepsy]

This thread is on fire! So many people :P

[Vahlnir]

This thread is on fire!

[HyperSMB]

I have found it varies greatly based on the group. Some are amazing and helpful. Others quite pathetic.

I find people tend to act the worst in dungeon wipes (Which to be fair, are exceedingly infrequent). I am weird, I find them refreshing and funny.

[BaconBits]

I'm prone to swearing (something I now need to watch because I have a three year old granddaughter and I mean proper, expressive Anglo Saxon swearing). Burn my hand, yup, I swear. Get annoyed by someone's idiocy at work? Yup, I'll call them a dozen rude words in my head.

IN MY HEAD.

Because they probably didn't mean to be an idiot and just because I don't know them well personally - or often at all after Covid - is absolutely no reason to be rude or offensive.

As far as I can recall, I have never deliberately sworn at another person or called them a rude name. I even apologise to the dog if I swear at her when she pees in the house. So I guess that makes me passive-aggressive by definitions being used here. I think it just makes me polite.

Yeah I'll swear under my breath when someone in game does (insert in game equivalent of idiocy here) but I have too much self-respect (and life experience) to think being offensive solves anything. It just makes things worse. I'll either try to offer a resolution as calmly as possible or I'll walk away.

Last time I cursed at someone in a video game was during a game of Uncharted 3 Multiplayer. Got sniped from halfway across the map right when I got my perk and was about to rain cluster grenades on their position. Salt was real that night, but that was almost 10 years ago.

Last time I cursed out a person IRL? 2 years ago back when I was still in the military, and that was from a laundry list of issues with an individual building up which everyone in my division including myself tried to address calmly. It wasn't until he dropped an entire 5 gallon container on my foot did I let loose on him. Had to go to Medical afterwards to get some pain meds, foot was hurting for nearly 3 weeks.