As a gay man I have to say WoW was a lot worse for me in the respects that if I even casually brought up a partner it was met with open hostility and disgust and the environment here in that regard is night and day.

That being said I would say both are equally as bad as each other. Anyone who says WoW doesn't have backhanded and passive aggressive drama has clearly never been in a guild (my old one blew up because of relationship drama) and anyone who claims the FFXIV community is all sunshine and rainbows is kidding themselves because some of the bullying that goes on especially in Novice Network is pretty nasty.

I would say the big difference is that FFXIV the greater part of the community tries to be friendly off the bat whereas with WoW you need to get to know people and run some content with them before they open up but the community is full of generous and kind people as well.