"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

[Verethyl]

AMEN !!! Especially the MENTORS, It's great when you ask a question and you either get a question in reply, a nonsensical reply or it's just plain ignored. THEN when you reply in kind you get attacked by everyone else.

[BaconBits]

I'm prone to swearing (something I now need to watch because I have a three year old granddaughter and I mean proper, expressive Anglo Saxon swearing). Burn my hand, yup, I swear. Get annoyed by someone's idiocy at work? Yup, I'll call them a dozen rude words in my head.

IN MY HEAD.

Because they probably didn't mean to be an idiot and just because I don't know them well personally - or often at all after Covid - is absolutely no reason to be rude or offensive.

As far as I can recall, I have never deliberately sworn at another person or called them a rude name. I even apologise to the dog if I swear at her when she pees in the house. So I guess that makes me passive-aggressive by definitions being used here. I think it just makes me polite.

Yeah I'll swear under my breath when someone in game does (insert in game equivalent of idiocy here) but I have too much self-respect (and life experience) to think being offensive solves anything. It just makes things worse. I'll either try to offer a resolution as calmly as possible or I'll walk away.

Last time I cursed at someone in a video game was during a game of Uncharted 3 Multiplayer. Got sniped from halfway across the map right when I got my perk and was about to rain cluster grenades on their position. Salt was real that night, but that was almost 10 years ago.

Last time I cursed out a person IRL? 2 years ago back when I was still in the military, and that was from a laundry list of issues with an individual building up which everyone in my division including myself tried to address calmly. It wasn't until he dropped an entire 5 gallon container on my foot did I let loose on him. Had to go to Medical afterwards to get some pain meds, foot was hurting for nearly 3 weeks.

[FujikoN]

I don't think passive aggression like that exists. Passive aggressive people are the kind of ppl who are forced -by the community or the game creators to shut their mouth if they can't express themselves in a more moderate way. I think everybody has to learn how to communicate with critics in a constructive way, kinda wrap your words into glam and glitter. Actually, those who don't like any critics, or even not tolerate any comment regarding their person created the word "passive aggressive" because there is a way they can fight back, attack you and twist out all of your words even if it wasn't wrong or it didn't mean. The mature person can express themselves in a way it's should and a mature person can accept constructive criticism in a way it should. Creating bs concepts just to find a way to attack others is not the best way to communicate or be a part of something. I don't mind if -when I make a mistake -someone suggests to me the solution and guides me to the correct way. If someone says something rude that is simply aggression, That's it. There are always plenty of ways to kindly ask someone to save us from their presence, and we shouldn't slap the door on their face or send them to hell.

[Maxilor]

AMEN !!! Especially the MENTORS, It's great when you ask a question and you either get a question in reply, a nonsensical reply or it's just plain ignored. THEN when you reply in kind you get attacked by everyone else.

I always figured the meme of 'Mentor Bad' was just people being bitter but when you go into a dungeon and me the sprout have to explain the fight's mechanics to someone with a Crown, you know the system is dumb.

[Rinhi]

could also be that the mentor hasn't done that dungeon in literal years, you know? and saying that, maybe done it exactly once all those years ago?

[Yma]

Only problem I have with the anti-toxicity rules is that when everyone is quiet, or I don't get any comms, my brain likes to tell me that it's because everyone hates me.

That's a "me" issue, and it's my responsibility to deal with. It is in my power to deal with it.

In other MMOs people yell slurs, wish death upon each other, flood zone-wide chat and even official forums with prejudice and bigotry. That is not a "me" issue, and there is nothing I can do about it. I prefer it here.

[EaraGrace]

I've yet to see a single instance of someone being banned or warned even when they didn't 100% deserve it.

I'll worry then.

[_Pigzig]

all you fakers, all you phonys

[CeL1790]

I can't really weigh in on this, I've been playing about a year or two now. for the most part, the people I've met are nice and helpful. but, by and large, I tend to stay within my friend group rarely ever going out of my way to meet new people. My overall experience with the community has been positive, a lot of tips and advice given, being taken to every aether crystal I could feasible be taken to when I was only a week in by a random stranger in a flying car. overall positive.

[Darksummoner]

I wish I could relate to this thread but I been playing this game now for about 7 months and I have yet to run into a rude person. So for now I can't relate to this issue.