"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

[Kaoru_Nagisa]

FFXIV's community is exactly the same as anywhere else. There are as many good elements within it as toxic ones, and people really need to stop trying to deny one or the other exists just because it doesn't fit into their narrow view of what the community "is". They also need to stop saying toxicity only exists in X or Y content - sorry to burst most people's bubble, but casual players are just as much - if not even more - toxic as raiders.

Really, the only difference here compared to WoW or LoL or whatever other game people might bring up, is the brand of toxicity - one that isn't quite as common to see in some MMOs. This incredibly disturbing fake-positivity, passive aggressive, high school drama gossip levels of toxicity that breeds all sorts of people who can't seem to comprehend how to actually discuss issues or address problems others bring up, without resorting to throwing the epitome of a childish tantrum at best, and attempting to gaslight people at worst.

And man, I came from a little MMO called SMT:Imagine, which had a small enough pool of players that most people knew each other in some form, and where high school drama and bullying was rampant. Somehow, XIV can be even worse than that - and I genuinely don't know how that's possible.

[Minnel]

Really, the only difference here compared to WoW or LoL or whatever other game people might bring up, is the brand of toxicity - one that isn't quite as common to see in some MMOs. This incredibly disturbing fake-positivity, passive aggressive, high school drama gossip levels of toxicity that breeds all sorts of people who can't seem to comprehend how to actually discuss issues or address problems others bring up, without resorting to throwing the epitome of a childish tantrum at best, and attempting to gaslight people at worst.

I don't think LOL community is a great one to set as an example here. Because of the competative nature of the game, it has a whole new level of toxicity than most games. That game is so toxic that even Buddah will loose his composure within hours.

Also I don't think it's the brand of toxicity that matters. I think what really makes the difference is the % of people that partake in certain toxic behaviors. The drama/gossip/etc is apparant in any game that has a social aspect in-game. It's just more apparant in games that have devs that actually enforce their ToA.
Honesrly, after playing RPG for 10+years, I've come to realize toxicity is never going away. It's going to exist one way or another. The only way to stop it would be to have FBI watch over each individual player and publicly execute them whenever they exhibit slightest bit of toxicity. Even then, I bet people will still find ways to be toxic.

[Kaoru_Nagisa]

I don't think LOL community is a great one to set as an example here. Because of the competative nature of the game, it has a whole new level of toxicity than most games. That game is so toxic that even Buddah will loose his composure within hours.

Also I don't think it's the brand of toxicity that matters. I think what really makes the difference is the % of people that partake in certain toxic behaviors. The drama/gossip/etc is apparant in any game that has a social aspect in-game. It's just more apparant in games that have devs that actually enforce their ToA.
Honesrly, after playing RPG for 10+years, I've come to realize toxicity is never going away. It's going to exist one way or another. The only way to stop it would be to have FBI watch over each individual player and publicly execute them whenever they exhibit slightest bit of toxicity. Even then, I bet people will still find ways to be toxic.

I never claimed LoL wasn't a toxic cesspool, just that it's far more openly hostile compared to XIV's preferred method of passive aggression and manipulation/gaslighting.

You are correct that toxicity is everywhere and won't go away - which is the exact point I was making. XIV isn't somehow free of it, we just have a different form compared to some other games.

The majority of players are chill, in this or any MMO; but every MMO has its share of negative elements as well. I think the major point of the OP was just that people seem to try to bury this fact with FFXIV in particular, when all it does is set a poor precedent for someone's overall experience. Thinking the community is nothing but positive and wholesome will make running into the less savory elements that much more damaging, in the long run.

The only difference here is you can't as easily report toxic people as elsewhere, because - be it the ToS or other reasons - this game breeds an environment where passive aggression slides under the radar and causes far more damage in the long term than some idiot screaming slurs in shout chat would. The latter will (usually) get swiftly reported and dealt with, even if they make alts to continue doing the same thing over and over again. Someone being passive aggressive and resorting to emotional manipulation or mental abuse will not so easily be rid of, as they know how to skirt under the ToS to avoid a report.